


Notifications

by notanannoyingfangirl, snowbunnylester (xrosepetalsx)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Movie Star AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 09:01:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 31,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3563903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notanannoyingfangirl/pseuds/notanannoyingfangirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/snowbunnylester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Indie movie actor, Phil Lester hadn’t meant to get under Dan Howell’s skin. In fact, they both could never have even dreamed of meeting other. So when a shitstorm erupts over twitter claiming that they’re a couple (who knows how that rumor started) and their agents desire to take advantage of the attention to launch a movie featuring the two of them... well they could both be happier.</p><p>Nominated for both: <a href="https://polldaddy.com/poll/8271105/">Best Storyline</a> & <a href="https://polldaddy.com/poll/8275081/">Best Collab</a> <a href="http://phanficawards.tumblr.com/post/113541935645/phanfic-awards-2015-nominations">phanficawards 2015</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: Hey guys! So I don’t know if I've told you about this fic, but insanityplaysfics and I have been working on it for a while and it’s finally here! It will be uploaded every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday until it’s finished so be sure to keep an eye out for the future chapters.
> 
> I would just like to give a huge thank you to katthequeen520 and mostlikelyprocrastinating for being super awesome beta readers! And of course insanityplaysfics because obviously this fic wouldn't exist without her! I hope you all enjoy reading this fic as much as I’ve loved working on it ~notanannoyingfangirl

Phil had had to turn off twitter notifications, and while he hated not being able to interact with his fans on a regular basis like he used to, he knew that it was a necessary evil. Ever since his latest movie had come out, he'd been gaining more and more attention. Not only had he become twitter verified over the past year, but his followers had jumped from 200,000 to 2 million. It was absolutely crazy.

At least he wasn't the only one. Carrie Hope Fletcher (a rather nice girl who had played his love interest in  _She Heard in Shades of Blue_ , Phil’s biggest hit to date) had called him just that morning complaining about how she couldn’t even go out for tea without getting mobbed by fans. Still, it wasn’t all bad. He’d met a lot of interesting people between all of the award shows and movie premieres, and it was awesome to see his face on a big screen. A little weird, sure, but awesome.

And it wasn’t that Phil hadn’t wanted fame; it was that he hadn’t expected it.  _She Heard in Shades of Blue_ was a little film that one of his closest friends, PJ Liguori, had written and directed. He certainly wasn’t expecting it to be compared to  _Perks of Being a Wallflower_ and being called the ‘coming of age story of this generation’. No, what Phil had expected was a few meet and greets and a couple of congratulatory handshakes.

So to be all dressed up in a tux for the premiere of a new movie starring Dan Howell, and Zoe and Joe Sugg, three of the most popular english actors, was quite frankly astonishing. Tugging on one of his sleeves awkwardly, and plastering yet another grin on his face for the camera, Phil tried to look as if he actually wanted to be there, and he  _did_. He wanted to smile and sign autographs and take pictures, but at the same time, he wanted to be curled up in pajamas with a bowl of ice cream and an old episode of Buffy.  

He was never the best with crowds. In all honesty he usually prefered to be alone, which made his career as an actor a bit of an odd choice. Still, he hadn’t even been doing much  _serious_  acting before PJ convinced him that he’d be perfect for the role. Honestly, that was mostly what would happen. PJ would write something and make Phil star in it, and Phil never minded helping his friend out, but he hadn’t known that it was going to lead to all of  _this_  either. None of them had. If they had, Phil wasn’t sure how many of them would’ve actually done it. They were just young and having fun.

Blinking as yet another camera flashed, Phil tried to keep his grin in place. It was just a movie after all - two hours, then he could go home.

\--

Phil wasn’t sure what all of the hype was about.  _A Project in Love_  was good, but it wasn’t great. It was like most other romantic comedies, he supposed. The actors were great, and definitely had potential (Dan Howell in particular), but it seemed to Phil that they were wasting their time with something as trivial as this project.

Two people meet, fall in love, go through a series of crazy and unrealistic obstacles, and then end up together. The ending was predictable, although Phil honestly hadn’t seen the brother ending up with Dan’s character’s ex.

Groaning, Phil pulled out his phone, typing out a quick generic tweet about liking the movie, although the only good part was seeing Dan Howell shirtless.

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

Just watched A Project in Love, great job @danisnotonfire @zozeebo @Joe_Sugg

Clicking the button, Phil slid his phone back into his pocket. He couldn’t wait to go home.

Unfortunately, his flat was all the way at the other end of the city, and it would be a long ride home. Climbing into the back seat of the car (Phil still wasn’t used to someone driving him around all of the time), Phil decided to scroll through twitter to pass the time. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw that Dan Howell had replied to his tweet.

Daniel bloody Howell, Phil couldn't believe it.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

Thanks @AmazingPhil, we have to work together soon!

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

I'd be honored to work with you, you have so much talent I'd hate to see it go to waste

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

you think im wasting my talent???

Well, shit.

\--

Dan was a thespian at heart, and always would be. He’d started out in this industry on the stage, and worked his way through high school productions all the way to the top. Then he’d gone to London and been discovered by an Indie director. Soon enough, he’d hit the big screen, playing the lead roles in Pinewood's biggest box office rom coms. That was his niche, the thing he was known for - being the heartbreaker, the romantic, and the best friend turned lover.

While Dan would never regret his switch from the stage to the movies, he would always miss it.

That’s why he always made sure to go to Indie premiers whenever he was invited. Those were his roots, after all.

He enjoyed most of them, of course, but none so much as the films by PJ Liguori starring Phil Lester. If he was being honest with himself, he had a little bit of a crush on the mysterious, dark haired man. Not only was he incredibly attractive, but he had a hell of a lot of talent.

Consequently, Dan was the one who’d turned the critics onto his movie  _She Heard in Shades of Blue_. Obviously, he couldn’t take all of the credit for Phil and PJ’s success, but he could revel in a little bit of it.

Indie movies didn’t often get the attention they deserved. All it had taken was one quick tweet from Dan and the media had been all over it, raving about this and that, until suddenly,  _She Heard in Shades of Blue_  had become a hit.

Dan was sure that Phil had never even seen his tweet. He was sure that Phil had no idea who he  _kind-of-sort-of_ owed his success too, and so he tried to forgive the unforgivable slight against his movie choices. After all, Dan had had good enough taste to go see each and every PJ Liguori movie, hadn’t he? Surely he wasn’t  _wasting_  his talent, as Phil had put it.

Which one of them was making millions of dollars on multi-million dollar movies, again? Dan, not Phil, that’s who.

Dan couldn’t help but be bitter. When he’d gotten the notification that Phil  _fucking_  Lester had tweeted at him about how good his movie had been, he’d gotten so excited he’d tweeted back immediately after. Dan hadn’t even known that Phil would be at the premiere, and the thought that an actor he kind of actually loved to see perform had enjoyed something of his  _back_? Well, what a let down it had been to find out that Phil  _fucking_  Lester just thought he was wasting his talent.

Dan huffed as he tossed his phone to the car seat beside him, anxious to get home and wallow in self pity. He’d been really excited at the prospect of working with a peer he considered his equal, but now? Now he wanted to forget he’d ever wasted a moment’s breath on  _Phil. Fucking. Lester_.

\--

Dan’s mentions had been blowing up all day. He’d kind of been expecting it, considering the premiere of his movie last night, but when he’d picked up his phone that morning to find that nearly none of his mentions actually had anything to do with his new movie, he grew frustrated.

Apparently, the entirety of his fanbase had seen his interactions with Phil.

Apparently, they all thought it was prime material to ship them.

Together.

As a couple.

In real life.

Meanwhile, Dan wanted to  _pull his hair_  out because at this point, it looked like the entire  _world_  would be aware of Phil’s slight at him by the end of the night. He’d be the laughing stock of every magazine in the world.

Well. Maybe the world was a slight exaggeration, but Dan really couldn’t believe someone as tiny and insignificant as  _Phil Lester_  was going to be the cause of his fall from grace.

Again, maybe a slight exaggeration, but Dan was pissed.

And there was nothing he could do about it. After all, any publicity was good publicity.

For the most part, Dan attempted to ignore twitter for the rest of the day as he lounged in his bedroom with a bag of maltesers and a shitty video game. He attempted to ignore each tweet mentioning the stupid ass ship name Dan and Phil had been given sometime over night,  _Phan_ , and any tweet mentioning the name of certain magazines that had definitely popped the story by now.

He couldn’t help but cave around 4:30 that afternoon.

**Cady Bith @icantbebothered**

fuck @AmazingPhil she heard in shades of blue was a shitty ass movie anyway. we love you @danisnotonfire! 

**Laruen Metar @shadesofblue**

@AmazingPhil @danisnotonfire Finally, a real actor calling Dan Howell out!

**Samantha Thomas @aprojectinphan**

@AmazingPhil @danisnotonfire i can feel the sexual tension from here

**Rin @rinforphan**

@amzingphil @danisnotonfire just fuck already, we all know you want too #phan

**Sanity Hour @phantomofthemindless**

@AmazingPhil @danisnotonfire You guys should totally hang out. Or do a movie together, even better. Preferably with your shirts off ;)

**Martzia Pieno @phanisreal**

@danisnotonfire @AmazingPhil You’d make such a cute couple! Tell me you’ve been secretly dating since SHSB!! #Phan

Dan mindlessly scrolled through his mentions for another half an hour before he moved on to his DM’s. He rarely responded to any of them, but in a case like this, where he’d seen very few of his peers respond to the shit storm currently occurring on twitter, he knew he’d find some relevant questions waiting for him.

There were a couple from Zoe and Joe Sugg, who were equally offended as Dan at the slight against their movie, and one from Pj Liguori apologizing on behalf of Phil, but the one that really intrigued Dan was the one from Phil Lester himself.

The trouble maker.

 **Phil Lester:**  I didn’t mean to offend you. I just meant you have a lot of talent.

\--

Phil's coffee was cold. His coffee was cold and PJ had spent the past half hour berating him for his comment on twitter.

"Look, I sent him a message apologizing, okay," Phil snapped, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Well that's not even half of it," PJ muttered, leaning so that one of his legs was draped across the arm of the chair he was sitting in.

"There's more?" Phil wondered aloud, he could already feel a headache forming and all he wanted to do was stay in his pajamas and scroll through tumblr all day. It certainly wasn't to be scolded by PJ like he was a child.

"You know that Dan Howell is the one who got our bloody movie noticed, right?" PJ snapped, and for half a second Phil felt bad for his friend. He was coming under a lot of heat because of what Phil had said and it wasn't any of his fault.

"I didn't know that," Phil said honestly, picking at his jeans. They were in Phil's lounge, after PJ had stormed in at seven o'clock in the morning with a look of pure determination on his face. Phil just considered himself lucky that he'd been up since midnight marathoning Lost, which might be contributing to Phil's headache.

"I'm guessing you haven't checked twitter either," PJ asked, his voice softening.

"I turned my notifications off ages ago," Phil said, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "What happened?"

PJ just gestured to the phone.

Suddenly feeling nervous, Phil unlocked his phone and opened the twitter app. Immediately he was flooded by posts about him and Dan.

"Holy shit," he muttered, clicking through a handful.

**Sarah Oswald @itsmesarah**

@AmazingPhil is it true @danisnotonfire got you noticed? #payingattentiontothebae

**Jessica West @shadesofdan**

Please tell me @AmazingPhil and @danisnotonfire are dating, they're so cute #phan

**Deacon @couldyoubeanylamer**

Please tell me the rumor that @AmazingPhil bats for the other team is true. @danisnotonfire is one lucky guy

**Cat Wolfe @ipromiseimupreading**

Does anyone have concrete proof of @AmazingPhil and @danisnotonfire or are we just going off a handful of tweets???

Phil felt his stomach twist. "What the hell is this, Peej?" he asked. "Why does everyone seem to think that me and Dan are a couple? I've never even met him!"

PJ just shrugged, "I dunno, but the phan hashtag was trending this morning."

"I feel like like I'm going to be sick," Phil said, suddenly glad that he hadn't finished his coffee.

"Well, it could've gone better," PJ agreed. "But everyone will be dying for you and Dan Howell to do a movie together. Could you imagine what being in a movie with Dan Howell could do for you?"

Phil just buried his head in his hands, "I don't think I'll ever be able to look at him again."

"Please, we both know that the next time  _Tell Me Something_  comes on you'll watch it. Because, if I remember correctly, Dan Howell is amazingly gorgeous and you love seeing him shirtless," PJ joked, using his foot to poke his friend.

"Stop," Phil groaned,"I'll feel guilty every time I see him. I won't be able to focus on his body."

"Well what did he say about your apology?" PJ asked, looking serious again.

"I don't know," Phil admitted, "I haven't checked."

"Well check!"

"Fine," Phil said, giving in to PJ's demands and opening his DMs.

 **Dan Howell:**  offense taken asshole

 **Dan Howell:**  sorry that was kind of rude

 **Dan Howell:**  actually I'm not sorry but at least we're even now

Reading the messages out loud, Phil tried not to picture Dan typing them. God, he had been obsessed with the other actor since he saw his first movie, Phil read all of his interviews and watched his movies (although mostly the early ones, chick flicks did nothing for him) every time they were playing. If anyone asked Phil who his celebrity crush was, his answer would be Dan Howell.

This whole thing just sucked.

PJ, for his part, didn't appear to be listening.

"Peej, are you even listening to me?" Phil asked, studying his friend.

"Phil, Chris just texted me," PJ said, and his eyes were wide with shock. Chris was PJ's assistant director, though why PJ looked so shocked about Chris having texted him, Phil wasn't sure. "Pinewood studios wants me to direct their new movie."

"Oh my god," Phil said, letting out an audible gasp, "Peej, that's great!"

"But only if you and Dan star in it," his friend continued.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! It’s Thursday, which means another chapter of Notifications! [notanannoyingfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/notanannoyingfangirl/pseuds/notanannoyingfangirl) and I are really grateful for all the positive feedback from the last chapter, and are really excited to bring you more of this. I hope you continue to enjoy it as much as we did writing it! Next update: Saturday
> 
> Special thanks to [katthequeen520](http://katthequeen520.tumblrcom) and [mostlikelyprocrastinating](http://mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com) for being awesome betas!

At 9 o’clock sharp, Dan received a phone call.

“Look, Ben, the twitter shit storm really isn’t my fault,” he began the moment he’d seen it was his agent calling, making himself comfortable on the sofa for a long conversation. “Phil’s the bloody idiot who made the stupid comment.”

“That’s not what I’m calling about, Dan. Besides, ‘bad publicity is good publicity,’ and all that shit. No, you’ve got an offer,” Ben responded, his voice sounding almost uninterested as he spoke.

“Shoot,” Dan shot back, settling in on the sofa more comfortably as he waited for his agent to give him the details. Ben screened everything. Sometimes, Dan didn’t start up a new movie project for weeks on end following the filming of the last one. It’d been months this time around, since Ben had shown him any offers, and Dan was itching to get back into the swing of things. Especially after today.

Dan needed an offer to boost his confidence.

“If I’m being honest here, Dan, I’m not sure you’re going to like it,” Ben replied after a brief pause.

“Then why are you bothering me with it?” Dan muttered back, picking up his laptop and settling it on his lap, tumblr already loaded and stopped on an obviously edited picture of him and Phil together.

“Well, for one, I ship it,” Ben began, and Dan’s brow immediately furrowed. He had a bad feeling about this, and the amusement in Ben’s tone was definitely not helping the situation.

“Ben,” Dan warned.

“Two, it’ll be good for publicity, and sales,” Ben continued, ignoring Dan completely. “And three, his manger and the director quite literally _begged_ me to convince you,” he drolled on, playing up the dramatics for his own amusement.

“Benjamin Cook, don’t you _dare_ tell me this is what I think it is,” Dan warned again, quite literally ready to explode.

“Pinewood Studio’s wants you to be in a PJ Liguori movie. With Phil Lester as your co-star.”

“ _Fuck_ no!” Dan yelled, and then he hung up his phone.

 **Dan Howell** : i already made you famous what more do you want from me??

 **Dan Howell** : did you really think I’d agree to film a movie with you

 **Dan Howell** : i swear on your mum’s life i will never help you make another pound.

\--

Needless to say, Dan’s agent had threatened him. On Monday morning, he found himself trudging through the hallways of a familiar building, making his way up to the conference room where he would find the writer, the director, and his unfortunate co-star waiting for him.

He was already gritting his teeth now, trying to hold back his sharp tongue for the sake of his job, and he hadn’t even reached the conference room yet. He wasn’t sure how he was going to make it through this potentially 3 hour meeting.

From what Ben had told him though, Phil’s agent was pretty desperate, so whether Dan made a bad impression on Phil or not, it was unlikely the deal would be off - unfortunately.

Still, Ben wasn’t a man to cross, despite his sunny disposition, so Dan intended to make a strong attempt to not be a dick during the meeting. Outside of the conference room, and off set, however, was a different story.

As Dan rounded what he thought was the last corner, he caught sight of a wide pair of shoulders and incredibly slim hips. Phil Lester’s back was to him as he conversed with someone Dan didn’t recognize. As Dan got closer, it suddenly occurred to him that Phil was a lot taller than he’d been expecting - not as tall as Dan, of course, but almost, and that frustrated him.

He slammed his shoulder into Phil’s to release his pent up aggression as he walked by, and threw a short “Oops,” over his shoulder as he walked on.

“I thought you weren’t going to help me ‘make another pound,’ Howell,” Phil shot at him, his voice lower than Dan had been expecting. Also quite a bit snarkier.

“I took pity on you. Ben let me know how much Liguori groveled at his feet,” Dan shot back, throwing open the conference room door and sauntering in as if nothing had happened. He took a seat beside Ben who raised a brow at him but otherwise didn’t comment, and leaned back.

Phil entered a few moments later with a dark look on his face, and Dan smiled, crossing his arms over his chest in a preening manner. It was then that Dan realized Liguori was already in the room, and he couldn’t help but be a little bit excited at meeting the director he’d grown quite fond of. The other man who’d been with Phil earlier took a seat on the opposite side of Liguori as Phil, and Dan wondered briefly who he was.

“Gentlemen, thank you for meeting with us,” a man Dan recognized to be Charlie McDonnell began from the head of the table. On either side of him sat two men Dan didn’t recognize, but farther down the table sat Emma Blackery, a women Dan knew to be the writer. He smiled at her, genuinely pleased to see her, and she smiled back.

“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m a veteran director here at Pinewood studios, and for the time being, overseer of your production until we’ve got things all smoothed out,” he continued in the gentle voice Dan knew him for, smiling around the table.

“There’s been a lot of buzz on twitter recently concerning these two young actors here, and it’s been decided that thanks to all the hype, selling a movie starring the two will be an easy occurrence. Now that all parties involved have graciously agreed to put aside any and all differences in order to make this thing a success, I suggest we get started,” Charlie explained, quickly picking up a remote and turning on a projector.

Dan settled in for a very long, boring meeting detailing a storyline that had probably already been decided for them. He wondered, briefly, if he’d be playing the asshole who’d boned his girlfriends older brother for shits and giggles, breaking both of their hearts in the end, or if the two would be playing competing romantic interests for a third party female actor. Knowing the writer, Emma, it was likely to be the first one.

Dan just had to hope that particular scene would be left to the viewer’s imaginations. He didn’t think he’d even be able to stomach _kissing_ Phil, let alone pretending to have sex with him.

“As was already agreed to before hand, Liguori will be your director. Casting will be done in the weeks following. Meanwhile, the two of you will begin learning your lines. Blackery over here, has already written your approved script. The storyline is simple; two young men, college age, exploring their sexualities,” Charlie pitched, quickly clicking through a few lines of dialogue projected on the screen.

Dan’s jaw dropped, and he turned to glare at Ben, who was clearly trying not to laugh. Charlie continued.

“Phil will play the sulky smoker. This is his last year as an undergrad, and therefore, his last chance to screw around. Dan will play the romantic at heart going through a sexuality crisis, looking to hook up. A friends with benefits deal is struck, and Dan’s character falls in love. Heartbreak in the end.”

The quick power point presentation ended, and Dan turned his glare onto Charlie.

“No fucking way,” he grunted, teeth set.

“What he said,” Phil agreed from the other side of the table, and Dan shot him a glare. He was tempted to change his mind, just to be obstinate, but there was no way in hell he was doing this movie.

Liguori shot Phil a warning look, which caused Dan to roll his eyes, and opened his mouth to speak. Dan cut him off.

“Oh, shut it, Liguori. They aren’t going to waste talent like yours just because I refused to play a part in your movie,” Dan assured him dismissively. “I refuse to be a part of this.”

Ben sent him a disapproving look, while Charlie stared at him with the same, sweet smile he always had.

“I’m sorry, Dan, but you’ve already agreed. Ben faxed over the papers this morning. You’ve made the commitment, I think you know how much it’ll cost you to back out now,” Charlie placated calmly. Dan’s eyes bugged wide as he turned back to glare at Ben.

“You didn’t,” he growled, only for Ben to nod with a self satisfied grin.

Dan stood up at that, and stormed out of the room. Behind him, the title screen “Only If We Don’t Say Goodbye,” glowed in bright red.

\--

Phil couldn't believe what he was hearing. There was no way in hell that he was going to star in a film opposite Dan Howell, especially not when he was supposed to play Dan Howell's _lover_. At least Dan appeared to be on the same page as him, the room had quickly dissolved into chaos after the other boy stormed out.

For half a second, Phil debating following him out the door.

The glare PJ had sent him, almost as if he were reading Phil's mind, was enough to keep him glued to his seat. 

His stomach was twisting. When PJ had told him that they would be starring together, he had assumed that they'd be playing brothers or best friends. The thought that they could be playing bloody _boyfriends_ hadn't even crossed his mind.

And Phil had hoped that Dan would be able to get over the twitter slight so that maybe they could at least work together without wanting to punch each other in the face. Evidently not.

"Don't worry," Ben Cook was saying, as Phil refocused his attention on the conversation between the higher ups who sat around the table, "I'll get him on board."

"You better," Emma almost growled. "He already signed the contract and he's perfect for the role. I don't want to cast anyone else."

"You can forget casting anyone else," Charlie added, "Without Dan and Phil we don't have a movie at all."

All of the eyes turned to Phil, and he realized they were waiting for him to give his approval, say he'd play the role. He didn't want to play the role.

Sure, he was an actor but most of the parts he played were close enough to his actual personality that he didn't have to do much pretending. But playing a chain smoking, bad boy who probably wore leather jackets and probably had a lip ring and who knows what else, that wasn't Phil. That wasn't Phil Lester at all.

\--

"I can't believe you expect me to do this," Phil groaned as he flopped down onto his sofa. PJ, who had followed the other boy into his flat, just rolled his eyes.

"It's not that bad, Phil," he said. "This could really be my big break."

"I know and that's the only reason I'm agreeing to do the movie at all," Phil said, remembering the look on Dan's face as he stormed out of the conference room. "Dan doesn't want to work with me, I don't want to work with him, this whole project is going to be hell."

"Have you even read the script?" PJ asked. "Emma's a genius. It's amazing."

"We have to play a _couple_ and convince everyone we're in love when we actually can't stand each other," Phil told his friend.

"That's why it's called _acting_ ," PJ reminded him.

"Do I look like a punk to you?" Phil asked. "I'm just a giant geek, not some rebel."

"You'll do fine," PJ reassured him. "And as soon as Ben gets Dan on board, everything will be fine."

"Everything will not be fine," Phil muttered.

"Just relax," PJ sighed, "And read the script."

\--

Phil did have to give credit where is was deserved - Emma Blackery was obviously talented and the script was amazing. In fact, if it was anyone else playing the character opposite him, he would have jumped on the chance. It was rare enough for a movie to feature a gay couple, let alone show a character struggling with sexuality,

And he knew that PJ would make it amazing, because all of PJ's projects were great. The movie had potential, there was no denying that.

In fact, the only thing he didn't like about "Only if We Don't Say Goodbye" was Dan Howell.

It was funny, because two weeks ago he was practically drooling at the sight of Dan Howell, but ever since he'd revealed how much of an asshole and a drama queen he really was, well Phil was disappointed to say the least.

Maybe he'd been expecting too much, you could never tell with actors. While Dan always seemed nice in interviews and articles, he'd revealed his true colors fast enough.

He wasn't worth Phil's time of day.

Except it appeared that they'd be spending a lot of time together now.

Because there was no way in hell that Phil was backing out of this movie, and he had a feeling that Dan wouldn't either.

This was the opportunity of a lifetime, and Phil was going to make damn sure that it counted.

\--

Dan knew from the moment he’d stormed out that he’d be doing the movie. It wasn’t just the fact that Ben had already forged his signature on the contract; it was the knowledge that this movie was _everything_ Dan could have hoped for and more, including the chance to work with PJ Liguori and Phil Lester.

Dan might be pissed _now_ , but he’d get over it, and he’d _hate_ himself in the next couple of weeks for having turned down the offer if he didn’t go through with it now.

That was the one and only reason Dan allowed Ben to take him out for drinks. Dan was a sloppy drunk, and Ben could make him do anything if he supplied enough alcohol. Usually, Dan wouldn’t take the chance, but it hardly mattered now. His mind was already made up. Ben had what he wanted, and, in a few weeks time, so would Dan.

“You know, just last week you would have been jumping at this opportunity,” Ben scolded as the two of them sipped at a pair of drinks. “I’m sure Lester didn’t quite mean that tweet the way you took it,” he assured with a knowing look.

Dan shrugged. “I know exactly what he meant. He does all these films with deep, philosophical meaning, while I ‘waste away’ doing chick flicks. He could have at least gotten to know me first. It’s not that I don’t miss my old work, I just...have a soft spot for rom coms. And I’m good at them,” Dan replied. “Just because his work brings light to real world issues while mine serves as nothing more than entertainment, doesn’t mean I’m wasting my talent.”

Ben snorted. “I’ll give you that,” he agreed. “But look, you haven’t even read Blackery’s script yet. It’s the perfection combination of the things the two of you love. It couldn’t be more perfect a movie to bring you two together, and I _know_ how much you want to get to know Phil Lester,” Ben teased, winking as he elbowed Dan conspiratorially.

Dan rolled his eyes, and snorted into his drink.

“Yeah, well, I’ve probably ruined my chance now. Not that I care,” he added quickly. “If he can’t deal with the diva in me, he doesn’t deserve to know me at all.” Taking a final, huge swig, Dan dropped his glass and waved the waitress over for another.

“I’ll do the stupid movie. Bring me the script a soon as you can.”

\--


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry that this update is a little later than I had hoped. Life was just keeping me busy! Anyway, thanks to katthequeen520 and mostlikelyprocrastinating for being super awesome beta’s. The next update will be on Tuesday on insanityplaysfics‘ blog, so keep an eye out for that!

"Glad you both finally decided to join us," Emma quipped snarkily as Phil followed Dan into the conference room. It was a late Friday afternoon, and once more Phil found himself being dragged to a planning session for "Only if We Don’t Say Goodbye". However, it appeared Dan Howell had actually decided to grace them with his presence.

"Lovely as always, Emma," PJ laughed, from where he was sitting across from her. Phil simply scowled. Tossing himself into the seat next to PJ, Phil tried to focus his attention on Emma and Charlie.

"Okay, so first things first, casting," Charlie said, looking a bit excited. "Starring alongside Dan Howell and Phil Lester, we have Finn Harris, Troye Sivan, and Bethany Mota." He gestured to the newcomers, and Phil took a few seconds to examine just who he’d be spending the next few months with.

He recognized Troye Sivan, a singer/songwriter who was just getting into acting. Though he wasn’t sure who the other two were. Finn was attractive, he was probably playing the rival love interest then. And Bethany, the only female main character, would obviously be playing Dan’s character’s best friend. Which left Troye to play Dan’s roommate.

It was a well rounded cast, Phil had to admit. A mixture of fresh and recognized talent that would be sure to peak viewers interest.

"Hi, I’m Finn," the brunette said, reaching across the table to shake Dan’s hand. Phil had to bite back a snort; Finn was obviously checking Dan out. What he saw in the asshole, Phil wasn’t quite sure. It must just be his looks. Dan responded with a cheeky wink, and Phil felt like he was going to throw up. They were sickening.

"Anyway," Charlie continued, obviously unhappy about being interrupted, "Have you all read the script?"

"Yes," the table chorused. Finally something they could all agree on: the script truly was amazing.

"It was really something," Bethany added, shooting a grin at Emma.

"Okay, good. I was hoping to do a read through this Sunday, so please have an idea of your parts by then. After Sunday, Lingouri will be taking over as director. I trust you’ll all be in good hands."

—

All Phil wanted was to go to bed. Instead, he was up at 1:30 in the morning reading his parts out loud to an empty apartment. If he was being perfectly honest, it was a little weird.

"Don’t you see? We’ll never be just friends. It’s not possible," he read, trying to channel all of his emotion into the statement.

Giving up with a growl, he tossed the script onto his bed. Whipping out his phone, Phil headed back in the direction of his lounge. Some TV and sleep was definitely in order.

Opening twitter with one hand, while channel surfing with the other, he glanced at his feed.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

Working on something new with a special someone

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

I think you’ll be pumped

**Liz Brite @phanforlife**

Is it who I think it is?? @danisnotonfire @AmazingPhil

**AnnaBear @ohdearitsme**

If it’s @AmazingPhil I will scream

What the hell? They weren’t supposed to leak anything about the movie, and a ‘special someone’? What utter bull crap. What the hell was Dan up to?

Tossing his phone across the sofa, Phil refocused on the TV, trying to at least see what was playing.

_Tell Me Something_.

Of course.

It was a bloody Dan Howell movie.

Reaching for the remote to turn the TV off all together, Phil paused, his arm midair as Dan walked on screen. Shirtless. Well, maybe just watching a few minutes wouldn’t hurt.

—

“What the actual  _fuck_ , Benjamin Cook!?” Dan screeched over the phone, groaning as all he got back was a deep chuckle. “How the fuck did you even know my password!?”

“You’re not very original, Howell,” Ben teased. “AmazingPhil, wasn’t it?”

Dan pressed a hand to his face and dragged it downwards slowly in irritation. “That’s besides the point, Ben. I can’t believe you hacked my fucking twitter. Don’t you have any morals?” he accused, flopping back onto his bed.

“Actually, nevermind, don’t answer that. Do you know how many tweets I’ve been getting? Besides, I thought we weren’t supposed to leak anything about the bloody movie,” he grumbled on.

Ben laughed again. “That’s part of the point, Dan. There’s so much hype around yours and Phil’s supposed romance that it’s the only reason we’re even getting the chance to do this thing. The hype can’t die down over the course of filming, or we lose everything.”

Dan sighed in response. “You’re right,” he agreed. “But how are we supposed to keep people interested?”

“It’s called interacting, Daniel. Flirting. And I know that’s something you’re good at,” Ben responded. “I saw how you were looking at Harries at the meeting.”

Dan grinned. “Well, I do like them tall, dark, and handsome,” he quipped back.

“I’ve noticed,” Ben said.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

It’s definitely exactly who you think it is ;)

—

Sunday came quicker than Dan would have liked. He was still stewing over the tweet Ben had sent out on his behalf, but had done as instructed and responded to a few interested tweets with cryptic, flirty remarks. Phil, for his part, hadn’t said a word. In fact, Dan hadn’t heard a peep from Phil since this whole movie thing had started.

As Dan climbed out of his car, waving his driver off, he noticed that a certain brown haired man was waiting at the door of the studio. Their eyes met, and Dan couldn’t help but grin. Was Harries waiting for him?

“Hey, you!” he called as he made his way over, adding a little flirty sway to his hips just for fun. “Aren’t you meant to be inside?” he asked. Finn smirked at him.

“Just waiting for the star of the show,” he murmured as Dan got closer, sending Dan a little wink and taking his elbow gently to lead him inside. Dan was too busy grinning at the action to hear the shutter click behind him.

The atmosphere was heavier as they made their way to the reading room, where Blackery, McDonnell, and all of the other actors were waiting for them. Blackery’s eyebrow was raised at him as she caught sight of Finn’s hand on his elbow, a flicker of a smile on her lips. Phil, however, was glaring.

“What’s wrong with Lester,” Finn asked, a whisper in Dan’s ear. Dan laughed, just for effect, and muttered back “No clue.”

The actions caused Phil to convulse violently in his seat, prompting the actors around him to turn to him and ask him if everything was alright. Dan smirked at the sight.

“I think,” Finn added as they reached the door. “Lester’s jealous,” he murmured against Dan’s cheek, an angelic smile on his face, and then he was pushing the door open and allowing Dan to enter first.

_Harries could be right_ , Dan thought, taking his seat across from Phil calmly. The other man was studiously avoiding looking at him as Blackery stood to get the read through started.

_Harrie’s could definitely be right_ , he thought with a smirk.  _This could be fun_.

—

It was definitely not jealousy that was twisting Phil’s stomach into knots. Nope. No way. There was nothing to be jealous of. Dan wasn’t his in any way. Except Dan had called him a special someone. That had to mean something, right? Assuming Dan had been talking about him at all.

He had to be talking about him.

He definitely wasn’t talking about Finn.

But Finn was giving Dan bloody bedroom eyes across the table, and Phil felt like he was going to be sick. He’d known this movie was going to be hell, but he’d never imagined this.

And Dan was sitting across from him looking perfect and calm and collected, and god did he play his part well. Every word out of his mouth was literal perfection. Phil could definitely understand why Emma wanted Dan for the role.

"I can’t keep doing this, this isn’t just a game to me," he read aloud, his brown eyes studying Phil intently.

Shifting in his seat, Phil willed himself to remember his lines without having to look at the script. He wanted to make a good impression after all. “It’s not a game to me, either,” Phil said, his voice coming out deeper than he’d expected, more honest, more raw.

He could practically feel the smirk that crept onto Dan’s face. “But you’re not the one for me. You don’t love me.”

"But I do," Phil protested, hating his part more and more. "You’re everything to me."

"You treat me like shit and say things like this and expect me to fall back into your arms," Dan was reading and it sounded so  _real_. Like for half a second they actually were these people. Phil could feel himself getting swept into the illusion, and it was magical.

This is why he’d always loved Dan’s performances.

Dan had managed to put the whole room under his spell.

"I don’t expect anything," Phil snapped back. "I thought that we were a thing, and then I go and find out that you were sleeping with Mr. Perfect as well?"

Maybe these lines were hitting a little too close to home.

"We were a  _thing_? You were always  _very_  clear that we were nothing but friends with benefits. And you know what, I’m fucking done with this.”

"You can’t leave."

"Get your hand off me."      

"I love you."

"I don’t believe you."

—

At the end of the read through, everyone had burst into applause. Phil could feel a blush creeping onto his face, and he knew he was probably tomato red.

Still, it was a good script.

It was a good script, but Dan had made it a great script. He could still feel his heart pounding with adrenaline, and he could still feel Dan’s eyes on him.

He wasn’t sure what to do about the second.

Because Finn was sitting across the table staring at Dan like he was the bloody sun, and Dan was looking at Phil like he was a puzzle he couldn’t solve, and Phil was looking at the floor because he didn’t want to see either of them.

That was a lie, half of him was tempted to glance up and meet Dan’s eyes. It would probably be a bad idea.

As soon as his gaze flickered up, he realised just how much of a bad idea it actually was. Because his blue eyes met brown, and for a second Phil forgot how to breathe.

And when Dan lifted his eyebrow, almost in a challenge, Phil knew he was properly screwed.

"You did great, man," PJ said, clapping Phil on the shoulder, effectively ruining the moment.

"Thanks," Phil said, though internally he cursed his friend. "I can’t wait to see what you come up with."

"It’s gonna be great," PJ said, rubbing his hands together excitedly. "This is the biggest project I’ve ever worked on."

"I know, you’ll do great," Phil said with a smile.

When he turned his gaze back to Dan, the other boy was talking to Finn. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil. 
> 
> Hey guys! Back with Chapter 4! I hope you're as excited as we are, because I think I'm going to explode with the tension of this story. It's mine and [notanannoyingfangirl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/notanannoyingfangirl/pseuds/notanannoyingfangirl)'s baby, so we're really happy for all the positive feedback and the 100 kudos! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, as things are starting to heat up. Next update: Thursday! 
> 
> As I was never able to find a picture to supplement the first of many twitter convos for this chapter, the first "twitpic" is supposed to be a picture of Dan and Finn walking into the studio together, arm in arm. I thought I'd save you guys some confusion on that one by explaining here!
> 
> Thanks as always to our betas [katthequeen520](http://katthequeen520.tumblr.com) and [mostlikelyprocrastinating](http://mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com)

It was true that Dan had a lot of celebrity crushes, his most recent one being Phil Lester himself, but Dan couldn’t deny that he’d had his eye on Finn Harries before as well. He couldn’t deny that he was basking in the attention he was receiving now, better late than never, and soaking it up like a sponge. He couldn’t deny that he _loved_ feeling special and _wanted_ , like a character in one of his movies.

Nevertheless, Dan wished Harries had come along sooner, that he’d had the chance to film a movie with him long before Phil Lester had come into his life, long before he was dealing with a bruised ego and unrequited attraction. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so bad about having a fling with him.

As it was, Dan wasn’t that kind of a guy. He was a flirt, sure, but he wasn’t cruel. With Phil around, Dan just didn’t have eyes for Finn like that, and he probably never would. It was stupid, but it was true. Still, if that was all Dan could have, he’d be glad to flirt a little with Harries and make Phil jealous.

The only problem was, Dan was so focused on making the man he actually wanted jealous, that he’d turned himself into the kind of guy he hated.

It had been two days. Two days of general read through’s, and Dan had spent both of them flirting incessantly with Finn. He could feel Phil’s eyes boring into his back each time it happened, and this only spurred him on. He _liked_ that Phil was watching. He _liked_ that he was making Phil mad.

But he didn’t notice the look in Finn’s green eyes. He didn’t notice how he wrapped his arm around Dan’s waist with authority: with affection, and lust, and possessiveness. He didn’t notice the way Finn’s eyes trailed after him when he walked away from him, or how they narrowed when Dan gave Phil even a second’s attention.

Dan was too busy watching Phil to notice Finn, and that would quickly become a problem.

“I don’t like that guy,” Finn muttered during one of their breaks, sipping at a protein shake he’d brought to the meeting.

Dan hummed in response. “Who, Lester?” he asked, chuckling and shaking it off when Finn nodded. “Nah, he’s a good guy. Rough around the edges, but he means well,” he answered.

Dan almost missed the look Finn gave him.

“He fancies you,” Finn stated calmly, eyes boring into Dan’s. Dan thanked his years and years of acting lessons when he was able to keep himself from reacting.

He raised a brow at Finn, mouth set long and thin. “I doubt that. He hates me,” Dan responded, getting up slowly and beginning to walk away. “Besides, I’m a free man,” he added, suddenly very aware of where he’d gone wrong. “And I can take care of myself.”

Dan didn’t look back, even when he could feel Finn’s green eyes following his every movement for the rest of the day. Suddenly, the attention didn’t feel so amazing. Dan would have to come up with a new way to get under Phil’s skin.

\--

**Lisbeth Cay @myheartisphan**

@danisnotonfire @FinnHarries what’s this!???? twitpic.jpeg

**Erin Wright @whatismylife43**

@danisnotonfire @AmazingPhil @FinnHarries do I smell trouble in paradise? what’s Dan doing here with Finn? twitpic.jpeg

**JamesFiend @JamesfiendRawr**

Looks like @AmazingPhil has some competition ;) @danisnotonfire @FinnHarries

**Catherine Bith @phanforever888**

@danisnotonfire @AmazingPhil tell me it’s not true! @FinnHarries is ruining my otp!

The tweets just kept pouring in, more than half of them including links to pictures that shouldn’t even exist. Dan hadn’t even seen the paparazzi, after all, but then again, who ever saw the paparazzi anymore? You couldn’t predict their movements all the time.

Dan sighed heavily as he dropped his phone into his lap in order to run his fingers through his hair. He was pretty sure, when Ben had told him to keep the hype up, that this wasn’t what he’d had in mind. In fact, Dan was expecting a call from his agent any minute now to talk his ear off about being an idiot.

What Dan wasn’t expecting were the two tweets that came rolling in afterward, causing even more of a shit storm than the magazines released this morning had caused.

**Finn Harries @FinnHarries**

It’s nothing, really ;)

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

*unhappy shrug*

Dan nearly choked on his own spit at Phil’s tweet. He’d almost expected Finn's quirky, almost flirty, tweet, but Phil’s? There was no way that had been Phil’s idea. It didn’t matter how jealous Phil acted whenever Dan flirted with Finn, there couldn’t really be enough there for him to be unhappy with the pictures that had surfaced today.

Dan’s phone began to buzz in his hand.

“I swear to God, Dan, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you,” Ben groaned the minute he answered. “Even Phil has a better head on his shoulders than you. We didn’t even have to tell him how to deal with this whole thing. He did the right thing on his own!” Ben complained.

Ben kept talking, but Dan wasn’t listening. All he could think about was how Phil had decided on that tweet all on his own. No one had encouraged him to respond at all.

\--

"You really have to up your game," PJ said as soon as Phil answered the door.

"Hi, Phil, it's nice to see you, how have you been?" Phil asked sarcastically. "Oh, I'm shit, Peej, thanks for asking."

"Hi, Phil," PJ repeated. "You really have to up your game."

"I know," Phil groaned, "I saw the picture."

"And Finn's tweet?" PJ asked, though he already knew the answer. "I saw yours."

"Of course you did. The whole world has," Phil muttered bitterly.

"Look, I was talking to Charlie and he said we need to get you into the public's eye, keep their attention off of Finn. Show them that you're still going strong." PJ said, tossing himself unceremoniously onto Phil's sofa.

"There's nothing to show," Phil replied, sitting next to his friend. "We aren't actually a couple, Peej."

"I know," PJ said, brushing off his friends concerns, "but this will sell the movie, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, what do I have to do?"

"Look, you and Dan just need to go somewhere together, public, and it doesn't even have to be anything formal. Just some place that someone can take your picture. And the studio is keeping Finn on lockdown after that stunt with the tweet, so everything should be fine," PJ told him.

"Everything is not fine," Phil muttered, pulling out his phone. "I suppose Dan already knows."

"Errr, no," PJ admitted, rubbing his neck. "We wanted to get you on board first."

"Great," Phil said as he unlocked his phone and opened twitter.

"Are you checking if Dan's said anything?" PJ asked, peering over his friend's shoulder.

"Maybe," Phil admitted.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@finnharris is just a friend, calm down everybody

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

We all know I only have eyes for one man <3

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil is the rumor I hear about us being in a movie together true?

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil why yes. Yes I believe it is

"He's good," PJ said with a whistle.

"You think he meant it?" Phil asked, studying the second tweet again.

PJ fell silent for a few seconds. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so," he said at last.

\--

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

Since @danisnotonfire spilled the beans, yes we are starring together in a movie

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire you realize that was meant to be a secret right??

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil I'm not very good at keeping secrets

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire I know, you can't even lie to me about stealing the last of the coffee before a read through

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil guilty as charged

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil sorry was this your coffee <http://instagram.com/p/vY-kE9pgHY/?modal=true>

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire grrrrrr

\--

Phil _thought_ that they were flirting. At the very least, Dan didn't seem to actively hate him anymore.

In fact, maybe going out with Dan Howell wouldn't be so bad.

Who was he kidding, Dan would probably make it hell.

He didn't know if anyone had told Dan the plan yet. (Maybe that's why he was so flirty on twitter, had he finally been let in on the plan?) But if Dan did know, then he certainly didn't seem disturbed by it.

Maybe they could be friends.

Maybe they could be more than friends.

No, that was just wishful thinking on his part. It was unlikely that he would ever be friends with someone like Dan Howell.

Even if they were stupidly attractive and made jokes about stealing his coffee.

\--

Dan wasn’t sure what had gotten into him. Wasn’t he still mad at Phil for telling him he was wasting his talent? What was he doing flirting with him on twitter?

Oh, that’s right. Dan had a job to protect (and maybe, just maybe, he _wanted_ to flirt with Phil), because all of his wasted endeavours flirting with _Harries_ to make Phil jealous had backfired on him.

Not that Dan could really complain. After all, flirting was what he was good at (next to being a diva) and maybe, just maybe, Dan wanted Phil to get to know him. All of him.

Including the bad parts.

For whatever reason.

Dan shook his head at himself. His reasons didn’t matter. Either way, Phil was adorable, _and_ he’d flirted back, whether that was in an attempt to save his job, or due to mutual attraction, it hardly mattered.

In the meantime, Dan was still staring at his last tweet, the little ‘grrr’, reflecting back at him through his phone screen - the whole reason Dan was suddenly thinking of Phil as _adorable_ in the first place.

Dan was so busy staring at Phil’s tweet, that he didn’t even notice Finn’s attempts to text him, missing the notification because he’d thrown his head back at the same time as it had popped up to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of Phil. Phil, the adorable, childlike man who was ridiculously good at playing character’s much more intense than himself.

In fact, Phil was so good at it, that it was proving difficult for Dan to reconcile this new, cute Phil with the one he’d met recently. The one who’d accidentally (and Dan was willing to admit, now, that it _had_ been an accident) stepped on his toes. The one who’d had a snappy come back for all of the rude things Dan had had to say.

It was weird to imagine the charisma, the uncaring attitude, the _heartlessness_ that Phil brought to each and every read through, and have to remind himself that it was the same Phil as the Phil who’d just tweeted him ‘grrr,’ for stealing his coffee.

Dan liked it. Dan liked that Phil could be both. He liked that Phil could match him snark for snark, and still be everything else he needed in his life.

Not that Dan needed Phil in his life. No, of course not.

Then Finn called him, and Dan was knocked out of his momentary fantasy land and back into the real world.

“Harries,” Dan answered, voice curt.

Finn laughed on the other side of the phone. “Is that how you answer your phone, Dan?” he asked, teasing.

“Only on special occasions,” Dan responded. Let Harries take that as he would.

“I’ll take that as compliment then,” Finn replied. “The studio’s got my twitter on lockdown. I heard they’ve got something big planned for you and Lester. Is that what all your tweets are about? They wouldn’t let me in on the plan.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about,” Dan hedged, eyes narrowed.

The line went silent, and Dan got the feeling Harries was being forced to reconsider all of his previous thoughts on Dan’s flirty tweets. _Let him_ , Dan thought. _Could do him good._

“I see. Well, let me know when you find out, will you?” Finn requested, irritation in his voice. Dan smirked.

“Will do. See you tomorrow, Harries.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! Here is the next chapter in Notifications… which I almost forgot to post because I didn’t realize that it was Thursday.. oops.
> 
> Anyway, next update is Saturday over on insanityplaysfics‘ blog, so keep an eye out!

“Alright everyone, settle down. Today’s our last day of read throughs. Starting tomorrow, we’ll be meeting down in the studio. Our costume designer, Hazel Hayes, will be fitting you with your costumes, while our make-up designer, Tanya Burr, will be figuring out your new looks. After that, we’ll finally be getting started on actual filming. Give it your best,” PJ announced the minute everyone had settled down the next morning. **  
**

Dan, meanwhile, was trying his best to inconspicuously stare at Phil out of the corner of his eye, while simultaneously avoiding Finn’s gaze. So far: Finn 0, Dan 1.

Phil was unknowingly staring back, his eyes calculating as he took Dan in. Dan couldn’t help but smirk. It was obvious he was keeping Lester on his toes, and he liked that.

Then the read through started, back at the beginning, and Dan was forced to turn his head and interact with both Finn and Phil head on.

\--

“Markus...I love you,” Dan was saying, eyes piercing as he held Phil’s.

Phil didn’t answer.

“Markus?” Dan tried.

PJ slammed his hand on the table from the front of the room, signifying the slamming of a door, and Dan let out a shaky breath.

“I love you…” he whispered, lowering his head to hide his face. Peeking out from under his lashes, Dan watched Phil watch him, those same shrewd eyes trying to pick him apart. He tried not to smirk.

“Did you tell him?” Finn asked.

Dan nodded his head. “Yeah,” he got out, forcing his voice to croak.

“I take it he didn’t take it well, then?”

“No,” Dan agreed, sniffling pathetically.

“Come here, sweetheart,” Finn replied in a cloying voice, and Dan nearly cringed at how sincere he sounded.

“I guess you were right. He never planned on staying with me at all.”

\--

He could feel Dan watching him, out of the corner of his eye. Their scripts lay abandoned on the table, the last words of the read through still echoing through the air. PJ was talking to him, arms waving wildly as he retold some story or other, but Phil was hardly listening.

His hands curled around his cup of coffee, thinking about Dan's tweets. Dan's unusually flirty tweets.

"Earth to Phil," PJ said, waving his hand in front of Phil's face. "Are you even listening?"

"No," Phil admitted, blushing.

PJ just squinted. "What's got you so distracted?"

"Nothing."

"Liar."

"I am not a liar," Phil protested, unable to keep his eyes from flickering back to Dan.

"You are so!" PJ said triumphantly, as he followed Phil's gaze. "Are you watching Dan?" he asked, lowering his voice.

"What? No," Phil scoffed.

"You are!" PJ said, grinning. "Oh, you have it so bad."

"Shut up."

\--

"I didn't take your coffee today," Dan said as he caught up to Phil, as he was walking out of the studio.

"I saw that," Phil said with a grin, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth.

And Phil couldn't help but think about how this was the first pleasant conversation they'd ever had.

"You're welcome," Dan replied. "But it means that you owe me a coffee now."

"Oh, does it?" Phil asked. "I guess we'd better stop at Starbucks then."

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

Going to Starbucks, they better not mess up my name again

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire How on earth do they mess up the name 'Dan'

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil you'd be surprised

\--

Dan laughed as he accepted his cup of coffee with the name “Nick” scribbled on the front. He made sure to take a picture of it and tweet it at Phil, despite the fact that the other man was sitting right in front of him. Phil shook his head.

“It’s not messing up if they recognize you as a character in their favorite rom com,” Phil stated as Dan settled down in front of him, an easy going smile on his face.

“Doesn’t matter. Point is, I was right, and you were wrong,” he replied with a wink. “And I doubt we want to talk about my rom coms right now,” he threw in as an unnecessary reminder, unable to help himself as Phil glanced down guiltily.

“I didn’t mean -”

“I know you didn’t,” Dan cut in with a wave of his hand. “I know exactly what you meant. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t still a bit insulting.”

Phil nodded as if he understood, and Dan accepted that he really did. His easy going smile returned, and he took a sip of his coffee.

“I wasn’t joking when I said I hoped we could work together some day. Despite our differences, I’m glad Pinewood shoved us together. You’re a very talented actor, Lester,” Dan piped up after a moment’s awkward silence.

Phil blushed.

“Same to you, Howell,” he shot back, body appearing to relax minutely. “I’ve wanted to work with you since your indie days,” he admitted. “I’ve been a fan of you for a long time.”

Dan nodded, as if that didn’t surprise him, when the fact was, it surprised him a  _lot_. He’d figured Phil had seen some of his older movies, but the idea of Phil having been a fan of his? That was disorienting. And flattering.

Maybe all that flirting last night had been something real then. Maybe it hadn’t just been about keeping his job.

“Thanks, I figured you were. You seemed quite irate that I’d switched to rom coms,” Dan responded with a cheeky grin. Phil shot him a look.

“Are we going to bring that up in every conversation we have about your work?” he asked, annoyed. “I’m sorry, okay? I just think you have a lot of raw talent. You bring the kind of raw emotion needed to portray the heavy parts in under appreciated films. You’re so much _more_  than the flirty, pretty boy you play in every movie,” he explained.

Dan nodded his head in agreement. “I agree,” he said. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I understood where you were coming from, though. The thing is, I  _like_  playing the suave, pretty boy in films. I  _like_ being the heartbreaker, the flirt. That’s who I am,” he said, smirking with one side of his mouth.

“I’m sure that’s something you understand. Playing the parts you know best. The ones that reflect you the most. That’s the reason Blackery wanted me for her script, you know. Ethan is literally me. I personally see you as more of a Matt,” Dan mused, “But you bring so much intensity to the screen, you can play Markus easily enough. And you’re good at it.”

Phil snorted. “I’m definitely more of a Matt,” he agreed. “But I’m enjoying playing the bad boy.”

They went quiet for a moment. Dan stared out the cafe window, and watched as Phil stared at him quizzically from the corner of his eye.

He reveled in it.

“There’s one thing I don’t understand though,” Phil finally piped up. “I know our management wanted us to go out in public together, but we’re not exactly in public. I thought you hated me. Why would you want to spend time with me in a coffee shop when you could have easily taken a stroll with me downtown where the paparazzi is more likely to see us?”

Dan’s brow furrowed. “Excuse me?” he asked, turning so he was staring at Phil. “Our management?”

Phil scoffed. “Well yeah, I figured they’d told you’d the plan by now or you wouldn’t have invited me out for coffee, right? You hate me,” Phil reiterated, and Dan couldn’t help it. He got mad.

He’d thought they were having a pleasant moment. He’d thought Phil had accepted his offer because he was actually interested in getting along with Dan. Clearly, he’d been wrong.

“I honestly don’t know what plan you’re talking about, Lester,” he started calmly, standing up slowly. “But I guess I was wrong about you. You really are just in it for the money.”

All that flirting on twitter last night? It really had just been for their job. Dan wasn’t sure why he felt so crushed as he stormed out of Starbucks, leaving a very confused Phil Lester behind.

\--

“Right, well, I meant to tell you before you left with Lester this afternoon,” Ben explained over the phone. “Damage control due to the Harries incident. The higher ups want the public to see you and Phil hanging out a bit more, spending time together on set and off.”

Dan sighed heavily. “Telling me beforehand would have been incredibly helpful. Then I wouldn’t have made a fool out of myself,” Dan muttered in response.

Ben laughed. “What happened?” he asked.

“We went out for coffee. I wanted to - doesn’t matter what I wanted. Point is, he agreed because he thought it was for the movie. He has no interest in me, and it would have been nice to know that before hand,” Dan explained, running a hand through his fringe and messily carding it back as he flopped back down onto his bed like a teenager in one of his stupid movies.

Dan was never the stupid teenager in one of his movies. He didn’t like it.

Ben laughed again. “I’m sure it wasn’t just because of the movie,” Ben assured. “But I know from personal experience that you’ll ignore every word I say, so I’ll let you work this one out on your own. Just don’t let it interfere with the movie, kapishe?” Ben ordered, back to business. Dan nodded, despite the fact that Ben couldn't see him.

“Sure thing,” he agreed. “There’s literally nothing for you to worry about,” he assured. “I was wrong about everything, including wanting to get to know Lester. It’ll be all business from now on.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry for the super late update, life got in the way as you know if you follow me on tumblr. But I am finally here to bring you the next chapter, and all I've got to say is that things are definitely heating up! Next update Tuesday!
> 
> Thanks as always to our lovely betas [mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com](http://mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com) and [katthequeen520!](http://katthequeen520.tumblr.com)

Phil couldn't help but feel like he'd done something wrong. Logically he knew he hadn't, not really. He'd been under the impression that Dan had honestly known about whatever plan their management had cooked up, and while he hadn't been exactly thrilled either, at least he had the decency not to storm out of the room he was in.

He'd come to the conclusion that Dan was a bit of a drama queen.

Except, the real thing that was bothering him, because he could deal with Dan being a bit of a drama queen, was that he hadn't heard from Dan.

Which wasn't so odd in itself, since it's not like they had exchanged numbers. But Phil literally meant he hadn't heard from Dan, the other boy had been void of social media all night. No flirty tweets, or Instagram pictures of what he had for dinner. And it was weird, because Phil had become so used to these things, he didn't even realize he'd ever miss them.

"Quit moping," PJ scolded him, as he unlocked his phone to check Instagram _again_.

"I'm not moping," Phil protested uselessly.

"Phil, you're in _my_ flat wearing plaid pajama pants and checking your phone every two seconds. So you're moping, and you're going to tell me why," PJ said, settling next to his friend on his sofa.

"It's nothing," Phil said, not looking at PJ. "It's Dan."

"No shit, Sherlock," PJ shot. "What's wrong?" He added softly.

"I don't know, we went out for coffee, and I thought it was because of that stupid plan, so I said something and it wasn't and I'm an idiot," Phil said quickly.

"Oh," PJ said, before letting the room fall into silence.

\--

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

Officially start filming today wish me luck

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil good luck

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire you realize we're working on the same movie right???

**Phil Lester @danisnotonfire**

@danisnotonfire And also that you're right across the room??

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil then come talk to me, i can’t be bothered to move

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire fiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnneeee

Despite his response, Phil was most definitely not fine. On one hand, he was elated because Dan had _finally_ answered him, but on the other his stomach was a pit of nerves because now he actually had to go talk to Dan.

Dan who was loitering by some of the camera equipment while PJ and Emma discussed some important business nearby.

Taking a deep breath, Phil picked his way over to the other boy, dodging obstacles such as discarded scripts, loose cords that lead to god knows what, and a murderous glare that Finn Harries shot his way.

"Hey, Dan," he said, feeling a grin slip onto his face as soon as he saw those brown eyes.

"I didn't actually mean you had to come over," Dan said with a laugh. "Though I'm glad you did," he rushed to add.

"Yeah, I'm glad I did, too," Phil said, studying his shoes.

"Look, about the other day," Dan started, "I just didn't know, okay, and I don't know if you actually want to be friends or anything because you probably hate me -"

"I don't hate you," Phil interrupted.

"Oh," Dan said. "Well, I'm glad you don't hate me." Then he offered Phil his hand. "Friends?"

"Friends," Phil agreed, shaking the other boy's hand.

It was a start.

\--

The beginning of filming was always difficult. No one had the hang of things, nothing ever went in order, and half the cast was either unneeded, or lost to the crowd. “Only If We Don’t Say Goodbye” was no different.

In fact, Dan’s only non-grievance of the day so far was the fact that he hadn’t been required to get hot and heavy with Phil just yet. Dan wasn’t sure he was ready for that.

Not yet, anyway.

Instead, they’d played as enemies for the first half of the day, and Dan was forced to watch Phil kiss extras. That was almost worse, except for the part where Dan got to act out his jealousy through his role. And he did. Oh, how he did.

_It shouldn’t have surprised him, really, to see Markus making out with another man. Markus had refused to define their “thing” for weeks now._

_Well, two could play at that game, Ethan decided, and when he was sure Markus was looking, he grabbed the shirt sleeve of the first attractive man he saw, and pulled him in for a kiss._

_It was an uncomfortable kiss, to begin with. The other man obviously hadn’t been expecting it, and so their teeth clashed awkwardly before the other man fixed it, slotting his mouth with Ethan’s better and reaching out to grip his t-shirt._

_Ethan’s eyes were cracked, and he hardly cared to make out properly while he was looking for Markus’ reaction, but the other man? He was definitely looking for a proper snog._

_Ethan barely had time to catch sight of Markus’ angry look before he’d been dragged into an intense kiss, but he smirked nevertheless, and allowed himself to enjoy the affections of another man._

_When they pulled away, he caught sight of intense green eyes and a lazy smile, and thought to himself_ why not?

_He kissed him again._

_“My name’s Matt. What’s yours?” the stranger eventually asked when they’d pulled away. Markus was long forgotten as Ethan answered._

_“Ethan. It’s nice to meet you.”_

\--

“You’re a pretty decent kisser, Howell,” Finn complimented once the scene was over, just loud enough that they both knew Phil could hear. “I’ll be glad to do it again,” he added with a little wink, and sauntered off. Phil looked murderous at the comment, but Dan just shrugged it off with a raised eyebrow, surreptitiously wiping at his mouth with the back of his hand when he was sure that the other man wasn’t looking.

The minute Dan turned to look at Phil full on, the other man covered up his irritated expression with a tight smile, and walked away.

Dan snickered, shaking his head in amusement, and wondered how good of a kisser Phil was. He couldn’t be that bad, or his extra wouldn’t have been so...enthusiastic to retake the scene a thousand and one times.

Speaking of extras, the sandy haired man was currently at the snack table. Dan wandered over, nonchalantly sidling up to him. He reached out to grab a kishe at the same time as the extra, and pulled back in surprise as if the calculated move had been an accident the moment their hands came into contact.

“Sorry,” he said with a friendly grin. “Didn’t see you there. Hey, aren’t you the extra…?”

The man nodded, face flushing immediately. Dan chuckled.

“Still recovering from the scene, then?” he asked. “I heard Lester’s pretty intense,” Dan commented lightly, humming to himself as he compiled a small napkin of snacks, watching the smaller actor out of the corner of his eye.

The extra nodded. “Yeah, I’ll say,” he agreed with a short roll of his eyes, peeking at Dan like he was seeking approval. “I’ll admit though, you’re pretty lucky. If I had to spend a whole movie kissing someone, I’d definitely pick Phil,” he continued, and they both laughed.

“Promise you won’t tell,” Dan responded conspiratorially, knowing the man would, “But I agree. Harries kisses like a dog,” he continued, and then he walked away.

Dan laughed quietly to himself as he imagined the look on the extra’s face, and then of the horrified one on Harries' when the rumors got back to him. Of course, Dan would assure him he’d never said such a thing, but the truth was...Dan hadn’t even had to lie.

\--

Ben was waiting for him when he got home, propped against his apartment door.

“I thought you were giving up on Lester?” he asked.

Dan shrugged. “I changed my mind.”

\--

It didn't take long for Phil to hear the rumors going around. Casper had come up the next day right before their scene to inform him of what Dan had said.

He didn't really put too much weight behind Casper's words; it was highly unlikely that the other actor was actually telling the _truth_.

But apparently Finn actually believed him.

The brunette had been unusually absent around set today, which suited Phil just fine.

Dan was leaning against the wall next to him, both waiting for a scene between Bethany and Troye to wrap up, and though Phil had yet to bring up the rumors, it was obviously the elephant in the room.

"Did you actually say it?" Phil asked, unable to take the silence any more.

Dan's head snapped up. "What? About Finn? Yeah."

"Why?" Phil asked, he wanted to ask ' _What about the part about me,'_ but he didn't.

"Why do you care?" Dan shot back, before shrugging. "It's not a lie," he said more softly.

"But why are you spreading rumors to the extras?"

"Maybe so _someone_ will hear them," he said, before he turned and walked away.

\--

By the time Phil got home from filming, his head was spinning. He and Dan hadn't talked since before filming. Well, they talked during filming, but that hardly counted.

Dan hadn't meant _him_ surely.

But Phil was almost positive that he had.

Did that mean that Dan really did like him like that?

Maybe the other boy didn't hate him as much as he thought.

Just as he opened the door, Phil smacked himself on the forehead. That would've explained Dan's odd behavior the other day at Starbucks then. He must of thought that because Phil said their management set it up...

Phil was a fucking idiot.

Stepping into the chilly air of his flat, Phil pulled out his phone. Opening up twitter, Phil went to his messages and started to type.

 **Phil Lester:** for the record I'm really glad the rumors are true

It takes barely three seconds for Dan to respond.

 **Dan Howell:** which rumor ;)

 **Phil Lester:** obviously the one about Harries.

 **Phil Lester:** but in all seriousness, I'm assuming you meant what you said... about me

 **Dan Howell:** obviously

 **Phil Lester:** I'm sorry I was such an idiot and messed up our Starbucks date.. Wanna try again?

 **Dan Howell:** hell yes, I was thinking I needed a date to Zoe's party this weekend anyway

 **Phil Lester:** maybe now would be a good time to exchange phone numbers

 **Dan Howell:** but this is so much more fun

 **Phil Lester:** fine just tell me where to go then

 **Dan Howell:** I'll pick you up obviously

 **Phil Lester:** you don't know where I live

 **Dan Howell:** so tell me asshat

Despite his easy responses, Phil wasn't too sure how he felt about a party. Going out with Dan? Yes. Going out with Dan to a place with lots of people and too loud music? Not so much.

Not to mention the fact that he was pretty sure Zoe absolutely hated him.

Yeah, this would be fun.

\--

 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys, early update today as I had forgotten that Dan had live-show today. As always thanks to katthequeen520 and mostlikelyprocrastinating for being awesome betas.
> 
> Next update is Thursday

“Come  _on_ , Zoe! He apologized, and we both know he didn’t mean it like that. Stop being so offended; I did.” **  
**

“Yeah, because you’re so busy trying to get into his pants,” Zoe shot back, her voice uncharacteristically venomous over the phone. “I hardly want him at my party at all! You’re just lucky I’m overly involved in your love life, or I wouldn’t have agreed to let him be your plus one!”

Dan sighed.

“What if he apologizes to you?” he asked.

* * *

 

“Nuh-uh. Don’t even think about it. Unless he apologizes on his  _own_ , Daniel Howell, I don’t want it at all. Just...try and keep him out of my face, alright?” Zoe begged. “I want this night to be a pleasant one, and the last thing I want is to get in any fights.”

Dan sighed but agreed nonetheless. He rarely saw this side of Zoe unless someone really offended her, but she was unlikely to get into a confrontation. Dan would do his best to continue that streak.

\--

Come Saturday night, Dan had been informed that Harries’ would be at the party as well, and as much as the idea of pissing off the overly confident man appealed to Dan, he’d promised no conflict, and that included any unnecessary drama.

So instead, Dan contemplated canceling all together. He could always call and tell Phil that he couldn’t make it; or maybe that he wanted to enjoy something more private, but in the end, he decided against it. He was far too invested now, anyway. Hadn’t Phil called it a date? There was no way Dan was passing up an opportunity like that, and what safer place than a party? Less pressure.

After getting dressed in his nicest white button up shirt with a graphic design on the right hand shoulder and his tightest skinny jeans, Dan pulled out his phone and called his driver. His hair was generously straightened, and warm to the touch from all the little extra touches, and his face was cleanly shaven (despite the fact that he had little enough facial hair to begin with).

He was officially ready, and everything had to be perfect.

To stave off nerves, Dan pulled up twitter on his phone the minute he climbed into the backseat of his car, and drafted a tweet to post.

It had to be something serious enough that Phil would know Dan really meant it, but flirty enough to make their managment happy, and Dan knew just the thing.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

On my way to pick up my date for @zozeebo's launch party! You’ll never guess who it is ;)

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire is it me? :D

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil of course it is, you doofus. come out, i’m downstairs

Dan wasn’t downstairs. He was hovering in front of Phil’s apartment door like a real gentlemen. Or a creeper. He wasn’t sure yet.

The door banged open not long after Dan sent off his last tweet, and Phil very nearly stumbled into him in his rush to scurry downstairs. Dan caught him by the wrists, holding him up so that their faces were centimeters apart.

“Hi there,” Dan greeted with a flirty grin and watched as Phil’s cheeks immediately flushed, and he pulled away.

“Hi,” he replied, eyes trailing downward to take all of Dan in. Dan tried not to flush as well.

“Wow, you look…” Phil tried to say, trailing off on the last word.

“Amazing, I know,” Dan filled in, flipping his hair dramatically for effect. “You don’t look so bad yourself. You clean up well, Lester,” he teased, offering his arm to Phil. “Shall we?”

Phil snorted, but took Dan’s arm anyway, allowing him to lead Phil to the elevator.

The nerves started to settle in then. Phil really did look good. Dan couldn’t keep his eyes off of him. The staring was so bad that Dan could tell that Phil was staring back, only Dan was better at hiding it.

“Like what you see?” he asked with a wink, and watched as Phil’s cheeks flushed again, and dropped his gaze, giving Dan the chance to really take him in. He looked wonderful in blue, and there were little black hearts scattered all over his button up. He also happened to be wearing obscenely tight black skinny jeans that made his legs look unreal. Dan was nearly watering at the mouth.

This was the man he had to pretend to have sex with for the next couple of months. Dan wasn’t sure how he was going to manage it.

\--

“I hope you don’t mind, I brought you back a sour apple martini. I remember reading somewhere that they’re your favorite,” Dan explained as he handed Phil the drink not long after they’d arrived at the party. He was holding his own martini in his other hand and was sipping at it casually already.

He didn’t plan on getting drunk, but a little alcohol would do him good. Loosen him up a bit. Phil made him irrationally nervous.

“Thanks. You were right, they are my favorites. Shout magazine?” Phil questioned, accepting the drink with a grateful smile. Dan shrugged his shoulders.

“I don’t know. Like I said, somewhere,” he responded, playing like he didn’t care when in reality, he’d seen and read each and every interview Phil had ever done.

He knew Phil’s favorite food (dry cereal), his favorite TV show (Buffy), his favorite album (Origin of Symmetry, and  _God_  did Dan agree), and even the brand of toothpaste he used (Colgate).

He was a genuine Phil Stan, but Phil didn’t need to know that.

\--

Phil wasn't going to lie, Dan looked pretty damn hot. And the sight of him was almost,  _almost_ , worth the too loud music, too crowded room, and too bright lights.

_Almost_ , but not quite.

In fact, Phil was positive that he would much rather have gone out to eat, or something less  _populated_.

But Zoe was Dan's friend, and Phil figured he owed it to him to try and be nice to her. Even if Phil was sure that Zoe didn't like him. He probably deserved that. Most of the people who worked on  _a Project in Love_  didn't like him.

In fact, Dan was probably the only exception.

"Do you want to dance?" Dan asked, cutting into Phil's thoughts.

"Yeah, sure," Phil replied, letting Dan take his hand and pull him out to the dance floor.

They barely got a few feet before the song changed to a slow one, but Dan didn't hesitate, placing his hands on Phil's waist and pulling them closer together.

"This is nice," Phil whispered, resting his hands on Dan's shoulders.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

\--

The peace didn't last long, all too soon they were interrupted by a voice Phil definitely didn't want to hear.

"Dan!" Zoe cried, pointedly ignoring the other boy. "I'm so glad you came."

"Yeah, no problem Zoe," Dan replied, rubbing the back of his neck. "Can I introduce you to my date, Phil Lester?"

Zoe turned to regard Phil coolly. "Pleasure," she said, though her voice was curt.

Dan nudged Phil with his elbow lightly, but Phil understood what he meant, "I am so, so sorry about what I said on twitter," he apologized. "It was disrespectful and I shouldn't have said it."

"No you shouldn't have," Zoe agreed, but her eyes softened. "But it is a pleasure to finally meet you after everything Dan's been saying."

"Zoe," Dan groaned, and even in the pink lighting, Phil could tell that he was blushing.

"It's the truth, Daniel, anyway I have to go find Alfie, I'll see you later," she excused before disappearing into the crowd.

"Sorry about Zoe," Dan said. "She can be a bit much."

"She seemed nice," Phil said. "Who's Alfie?"

"Her boyfriend," Dan said with a wave of dismissal. "Come on, I want to introduce you to Louise."

"Who's Louise?"

"You'll see," Dan replied, grabbing Phil's hand and pulling him along.

\--

“Dan!’ Louise drunkenly squealed as Dan finally found her in the mess of the party. She was squeezed in between a wall and her sober husband, who was holding the hand of their daughter, but was so busy making grabby hands at Dan that she very nearly elbowed Darcy in the face.

The little girl stuck her tongue out at her mom and then giggled to herself, making Dan’s smile brighten.

“Who’s this?” Lousie asked as Dan and Phil got closer, smiling affectionately at Phil and wrapping her arms around Dan’s neck to hold onto him.

“Excuse my wife,” Matt apologized, critical eyes trained on Phil. “You must be Phil?” he asked, offering him his hand, which forced Phil to drop Dan’s.

Dan very nearly pouted at this, but turned away to fight Louise off his neck.

“Yeah,” Dan heard Phil reply, “that’s me. It’s great to meet you. Are you close friends of Dan’s?” Phil asked.

Dan cut Matt off before he could reply. “I’ve known Louise since my days at the West End,” he introduced, eyes wide as he watched for Phil’s reaction. “She’s my best friend.”

As the look of realization began to dawn on Phil’s face, Dan’s smile grew.

“Oh my God,” he muttered. “You’re Louise Pentland,” he said in awe, suddenly reaching for her hand and shaking it excitedly. Louise, for her part, was too drunk to understand why, but giggled nevertheless and shook Phil’s hand back.

“And you must be Phil Lester, the guy Dan  _neeeever_  stops talking about,” Louise responded with another giggle and a full blown smile. “I must agree with him, you are cute.”

“Louise!” Dan sputtered, suddenly questioning if any of this had been a good idea to begin with. He’d just wanted to introduce his date to his best friend, and maybe possibly find out just how long Phil had been a fan of his.

But now two of the women in Dans’ life had revealed to Phil just how much he talked about him, and that just wouldn’t do.

“She’s drunk, ignore her,” Dan said as he turned to Phil, finally managing to fight Louise off and instead attempting to draw Phil’s attention to her daugher. “Besides, her daughter’s much cuter. Hi Darcy, do you wanna meet my friend?”

Darcy giggled and hid behind her father’s leg as Dan and Phil both crouched down, peering out with curious blue eyes. She pointed at Phil, and looked to Dan like she didn’t understand.

“This is Phil. He’s my...friend. He might be around a little more often when I come to babysit you, alright?” Dan explained with a cheerful smile. “He’s very nice, I promise,” Dan assured her when she sent another curious look at Phil.

Finally, the little girl let go of her father’s leg and walked out to face Phil. Before either of them knew what was happening, she was teetering forward into Phil’s arms and giving him a hug. Phil caught her with a surprised laugh, eyes wide and excited as he turned to look at Dan.

“Oh, hi,” he whispered as she pulled away, smiling brightly at her. She smiled back and poked Phil’s nose, and then she giggled and ran back off again. Matt followed after, chasing her good naturedly, while Louise wandered off to find somewhere to sit.

“I love kids. I’m gonna have so many, and I’ll be the  _best_  father,” Dan said, turning to grin at Phil as they both stood up. He didn’t miss how Phil’s eyes sparkled at him.

“I bet you will be,” he agreed.

\--

"Let's get out of here," Dan said, much to Phil's relief. While Dan was obviously in his element in the overcrowded room, Phil, himself, preferred solitude and maybe a couple of close friends.

Meeting Dan's old friends was fun, and... interesting. Both Louise and Zoe had made comments about how much Dan talked about him. Surely that was a good sign?

But he still didn't know Dan all that well, underneath the other man's arrogant exterior. And he wanted to, god, did he want to.

"Okay," he said, feeling a grin creep onto his face as he let Dan pull him through the crowd.

"I should say goodbye to Zoe," Dan muttered. However when a quick glance around the room didn't reveal the brunette, he appeared to discard the idea.

"Where do you want to go?" Dan asked as he slid into the backseat of his driver's car. Phil ducked inside beside him. Half of him considered saying 'home', but in case that would be considered too rude, or sexual, he decided against it.

"Can we go out to eat?" He asked, "I'm starving."

Dan grinned. “My thoughts exactly."

\--

The restaurant Dan had picked was, frankly, a bit posh for Phil's taste. But they were already dressed up for Zoe's party, and he was out with  _Dan Howell_ , so Phil wasn't exactly sure that he should have expected anything different.

The ceilings were high and gold chandeliers hung like raindrops, wood paneled walls and cherry floors were decorated with paintings and rugs respectively. The place was practically a castle. How it managed to squeeze into a London building, Phil wasn't exactly sure.

"This place is the best," Dan was saying, leading Phil around by their joined hands. Phil felt like that had happened a lot tonight, Dan pulling him around, but he didn't mind. It was nice to not be in charge of his movements for once.

"It looks really nice," Phil said, studying the walls as they walked past.

Dan nodded. "Don't worry, I'm a bit of a regular so we shouldn't have to wait that long."

"Okay," Phil said, He couldn't help but be surprised that Dan was a regular at a place like this, a place this nice had to be expensive.  _I suppose being as rich as he is, it doesn't much matter_ , Phil thought.

"So, Phil," Dan said, moving closer to the other boy while they waited for the couple in front of them to be seated. "Tell me something no one else knows."

_Something no one else knows_. Why the hell would Dan ask him that? Actually, it was the most intriguing question anyone had asked Phil while on a date in a long time. Maybe that was the desired effect.

"I could fall in love with you, Dan Howell."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say this time is you’re welcome ;) Next update on Saturday!
> 
> Thanks as always to our lovely betas [mostlikelyprocrastinating](http://mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com) and [katthequeen520](http://katthequeen520.tumblr.com)!

Dan’s eyes were wide, and that was a feat in among itself. He was trained in the _theater_ for goodness sakes, the place where you had to school your expressions _constantly_ ; there was no room for mistakes.

To be rendered speechless and surprised that like was unusual enough for Dan, but for it to be in response to someone announcing that they could fall in love with him? That was unheard of.

Dan was a player. He was a romantic. He was used to people falling in love with him, and in his wake, he left a blazing trail of broken hearts everywhere he went. But Phil? Phil was a different story.

Phil was full of surprises, and he’d just dropped the biggest one yet.

Slowly, Dan’s surprised expression morphed into a soft grin, and he licked his lips somewhat self consciously as he cleared his throat and straightened up from how he’d leaned into Phil’s side earlier to take in his answer.

“Well, then, Phil,” he started, clearing his throat a second time. “I guess you’d better be careful then,” he finally settled on, the warning less cocky and indifferent, and more flustered.

Dan cleared his throat again, and turned his gaze straight ahead. From the corner of his eye, he could see Phil’s expression, and knew from the way that he was grinning, that Phil could see right through him.

And he was quite pleased with himself.

“We’re up,” Phil commented gently after a few more moments of waiting, taking Dan’s elbow and leading him along behind their waiter. Dan let him.

\--

It hadn’t been three seconds since Dan had entered his flat, and he was already collapsing onto his sofa with a ridiculous grin stretching the corners of his mouth.

Today had been...awesome, and for the first time in a long time, Dan could feel little tugs at his heartstrings.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

Had a great time tonight with @AmazingPhil Let’s do it again sometime, yeah?

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire of course ;)

Dan’s ears were ringing, and there was a buzz crawling under his skin as he stared at his phone, soaking in Phil’s words like a love sick teenager with her first crush. He couldn’t help it, though.

Phil Lester had admitted that he could fall in love with Dan, and if that wasn’t a miracle in and of itself after the way Dan had treated him, then Dan didn’t know _what_ was.

He sighed as he let his phone slip through his fingers and onto the sofa cushions next to his head, rolling over so his face was very nearly pressed into smooth fabric.

Their date really had been fantastic. Phil was every bit as captivating as every character he’d ever played before, but more so, and he had _so much to say_.

Dan had never met someone with so many strange stories, or someone quite as quirky as Phil, but the best part was how much they had in common. The best part was the way Dan could tease him, and snark at him, and Phil could match him insult for insult.

The best part was the way Phil complemented him, and if Dan was being honest, he thought he could fall in love as well.

He was already one foot in.

\--

Phil couldn't keep his grin off his face, in fact he was positive he was smiling like a fool, but he could hardly bring himself to care.

Tonight had been the best date he'd been on in... well forever. He hadn't been lying when he told Dan what he did - well, maybe a little. Because Phil was positive that he was already falling in love with the other boy.

He had twitter open on his phone, scrolling through Dan's old tweets. Rereading their old flirty tweets to each other. His feet were propped up on the arm of his sofa and his TV was playing Buffy in the background, it was the perfect end to the perfect evening.

Closing out of Dan's page, Phil clicked the button to create a new tweet.

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@zozeebo I had so much fun at your party tonight, it was lovely to meet you

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

Guess who I hung out with tonight <http://instagram.com/p/y0zKb8pgEG/?modal=true>

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil @zozeebo let's do this again sometime

**Zoe Sugg @zozeebo**

@AmazingPhil @danisnotonfire I have a book release next week, see you there

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil guess we know what our plans are next weekend

\--

The next week of filming passed in a blur of coffee breaks with Dan, reading the script with PJ, and dodging Finn whenever possible.

It wasn't long before the brunette cornered Phil by the snack table, leaving no room for an easy escape.

"What's going on, _Lester_ ," he asked. "Between you and Dan?"

"It's not really any of your business, _Harries,"_ Phil replied in the same haughty tone.

"I disagree," Finn said, leaning forward and invading Phil's personal space. "Because the two of you seem like giant attention whores from where I am. Playing up a relationship for the public? How cliche can you get?"

"The sad part is that you think we're faking," Phil replied, brushing past Finn, and trying not to delight in the look on the other boys face.

"Who pissed in his coffee?" Dan asked as he joined Phil, chuckling at Finn's face.

"Me," Phil said cheerfully, making Dan erupt into laughter.

\--

Dan couldn’t deny that Finn was starting to make him a little uncomfortable.

The first day back to filming after the party, Finn had given Dan an odd look, like he’d seen Dan but Dan hadn’t seen him the night before. It unnerved him, the way Finn’s green eyes trailed after him all day like a dog who’d betrayed him.

Dan was starting to fear that he’d created a monster, and then Phil went and “pissed in his coffee,” sending Finn on his way and embarrassing him enough that he couldn’t even look Dan’s way the rest of the day. Phil hadn’t told Dan what he’d said, or what had happened, but it didn’t matter. It had gotten Finn off his back, and that was enough for now.

The days passed quickly, other than that. Dan spent most of his time huddled by the coffee machine making jokes with Phil, and laughing while he tried to hide away from Finn. Most of the extras watched them from afar, like they wanted to be in on the joke, while their fellow actors occasionally joined in.

The weekend came quickly. Soon enough, Zoe’s book release was here, and Dan was getting dressed in slightly less fancy clothes to celebrate with her, a few of her closest friends (i.e. everyone _ever)_ and Phil.

Dan couldn’t help the grin that overtook his face at the thought of Phil. They hadn’t called this one a date, but it hardly mattered. They were kind of sort of unofficially seeing each other, and Dan was picking Phil up _again_. They didn’t have to call it a date. It was one.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@zozeebo Congratulations!! @AmazingPhil and I will see you there

**Zoe Sugg @zozeebo**

@danisnotonfire @AmazingPhil I look forward to seeing your beautiful faces

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire @zozeebo Hurry up, I’m waiting on you ;)

\--

“I think Harries is going to be there,” Phil said as he climbed into the back seat of Dan’s car with him. Dan was nodding his head, fingers itching at his side to take Phil’s hand.

“Of course he is. They’re friends, after all, and anyone who’s anyone is going to be there,” Dan agreed, settling back into his seat and turning to look at Phil. “But it hardly matters. He hasn’t been able to look at me since you talked to him,” he hedged.

Phil smirked. “I bet he hasn’t,” the dark haired man muttered.

“Won’t you _ever_ tell me what you said?” Dan asked, nudging Phil with his elbow conspiratorially. “Is it embarrassing?”

Phil shook his head. “I just don’t want him to take it out on you if he knows you know what happened as well,” he explained. He turned to face Dan, and suddenly, Dan’s fingers were laced together with long pale ones.

“It was nothing bad, I promise,” Phil assured him. Meanwhile, Dan’s heart was pounding a mile a minute, so he nodded and turned to face the window in an attempt to hide his blush. The tiny squeeze to his fingers assured him that he’d failed spectacularly.

\--

“I’m so glad you could make it!” Zoe shouted over the noise of her party, crowding in close to both Dan and Phil, who were standing side by side, off to the side, with cocktails in hand.

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Dan assured, clasping Zoe on the shoulder. “I’m so proud of you!”

Zoe grinned at the words, pulling Dan in for a quick hug with tears in her eyes. Then, she turned on Phil and pulled him in as well.

“Enjoy the party, okay guys? If you need anything...just take it!” she finally said on a laugh, moving away to greet more guests.

Dan turned to Phil then with a flirty grin. “You heard her. If I want anything,” Dan ad-libbed, “I should just take it,” he continued, eyes wide and earnest as he grabbed Phil’s cocktail right out of his hand, and placed both his and Phil’s on the shelf behind them.

Then he took Phil’s hand and led him out to the dancefloor, walking backwards so he wouldn’t have to look away from Phil’s captivating blue eyes.

The music was loud and pumping, unlike last time, the bass heavy in the air. Dan started to move his body, guiding Phil’s hands to his hips to hold him there, and encouraging Phil to move with him. He left a good amount of space between their bodies, just in case this was too much for Phil, but grinned at the feeling nevertheless. His head was spinning, and it wasn’t from the alcohol. It was from the way Phil’s fingers tightened against the skin of his hips, and the way he stared at Dan with such an intense look, Dan thought he might explode.

Bodies were pressed in tight all around them, jostling them around, and at some point, Dan even felt someone smack him on the ass, but he didn’t care. He only had eyes for Phil, who in return, only had eyes for him.

It was too loud to talk, so the two just continued to move together, wary enough of their rocky relationship that they never pressed tighter together, despite the fact that Dan wanted too. Oh, how Dan wanted too.

A flash of green eyes caught in Dan’s peripheral, and he closed his eyes with a near silent groan, for the first time since he’d dragged Phil out here.

Phil pressed in close.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his husky voice a whisper against Dan’s ear.

“Harries,” Dan explained, equally close to Phil’s ear, and then Finn was there, crowding in next to them with a cocky grin on his face.

\--

Phil was going to kill him. The evening had been going so well, and then Harries had to go and shove into their business. Couldn't he take a damn hint?

"Lester. Howell," he greeted, his grin never fading.

"Harries," Dan replied, his voice curt and dismissive.

"I didn't expect to see you two here," Finn said, feigning innocence.

"Like hell," Dan spat. "What do you want?"

"What do I want? I want answers," Finn said, his eyes flashing with anger. "I thought that we were something, Dan. And then you drop me the second Lester started showing an interest in you."

Dan was staring at the other boy with his mouth agape, and Phil knew that he had to say something.

"Well if you were something, then you obviously aren't anymore," he snapped, wishing he were anywhere else but here.

"Look, Finn, this isn't really the best place for this," Dan said, apparently regaining control of his speech.

"Right, because normally, you guys talk to me whenever I want," Finn spat. "Whatever. I'm done with you, Howell."

"Thank god," Dan muttered, soft enough only Phil could hear him.

As if the drama had summoned her, Zoe appeared at Finn's elbow. She seemed to sense the tension between the three, and grabbing Finn's arms she started to pull him off the dance floor.

"Finn, I haven't seen you in ages," she gushed.

"We just spoke, like, two seconds ago," Finn said, but he let himself be pulled away.

"I mean properly see you," Zoe corrected, shooting a concerned glance at Dan, who merely shrugged.

As the two disappeared into the crowd, Dan let out a shaky groan.

"I don't know what you ever saw in that guy," Phil said, watching the retreating figures.

"What?" Dan asked, his head snapping up to study Phil. "Finn? I never liked him."

"Could've fooled me," Phil said with a snort.

"Hey," Dan said, reaching out to grasp Phil's hands in his own. "I didn't, honest. I was trying to make you jealous."

" _Me_?" Phil asked, disbelief audible in his voice. "You used _Finn Harries_ to make me jealous?"

"Well it worked, didn't it?" Dan said, closing the distance between them so that Phil had to look up to meet his eyes.

"Yes," Phil admitted quietly.

"And now I can do this," Dan said, before bending down to press a soft kiss to Phil's lips.

Letting go of the other boy's hands, Phil reached up, tangling his hands into Dan’s hair.

Dan's hands were warm on his waist, and Phil suddenly had an intense need to go home. Suddenly Zoe's party didn't seem nearly as inviting.

Dan seemed to be thinking along the same lines as him, because the second he broke the kiss, he was mouthing the word 'home,' and Phil found himself nodding.

\--

They didn’t make it past the hall. Dan had Phil pressed up against the wall the moment they’d barreled inside, giggling like children and making out every chance they got.

Before Phil knew it, he had his pants around his ankles and two of Dan’s fingers in his ass.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” Dan growled.

“Haven’t bottomed in a while,” Phil responded, breathing harsh as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“How often?”

“Half the time,” Phil assured Dan with a cocky grin. “Don’t think you’ll be the only one topping.”

Dan grinned back, pulling his fingers out and wrestling with the zip on his own pants. Within moments, Dan had his pants off as well, and Phil was struggling to get his feet out of the holes of his own.

Then Dan had Phil’s legs wrapped around his waist, and his cock in his ass, and Phil was moaning, head tossed back as Dan fucked into him.

He thought it might have been one of the best orgams he had ever had.

\--

He was warm when he woke up - that was the first thing Phil noticed, other than the bright light piercing his eyelids. He shifted, attempting to hide his eyes from the light, bumping into someone.

Dan.

Blinking his eyes open, Phil studied the tan arm that was draped casually across his chest. Their legs were tangled together, and Phil could feel Dan's stomach pressed against his back.

He could get used to feeling like this.

Rolling over so that he could study the other boy, Phil was surprised to see Dan's warm brown eyes already open.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," Dan replied, reaching forward to brush Phil's fringe out of his eyes.

"I could get used to this," Phil voiced aloud, reaching forward to press a soft kiss to Dan's lips.

"Hmm, me too," Dan agreed.

\--


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah guys I am so so sorry this update is late, I forgot it was Saturday this morning and by the time I remembered my family was over and I couldn’t post! But anyway it’s here now, so please enjoy! As always thanks to mostlikelyprocrastinating and katthequeen520 for being super awesome beta’s.

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil  
**

Congrats to @zozeebo for her book, it was a great party ;)

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

I would just like to add that I currently have a boyfriend

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire are you seriously telling me that #phan is real

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil that's exactly what I'm saying

* * *

 

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire you realize you have #phan trending??

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil really????? OMG thanks guys

**Casey Fisher @caseiscool**

#phan is real!! OMG I'm gonna die

**Kellie Teller @phan_for_life**

Still can't believe @danisnotonfire just confirmed #phan it's not every day a ship becomes canon

**Zeek Hemmings @mymanzeek**

Why is everyone going crazy over #phan? So what, they're dating. As if it wasn't obvious

\--

It was clear, by Phil’s reaction tweet, that Dan had made the right decision announcing that he had a boyfriend on twitter. He’d left that morning just after breakfast, and despite all the casual touches and the kisses, neither of them had spoken up to label their relationship.

Usually, everything was just kind of a casual  _thing_  with Dan, but not this. He didn’t want this to be another  _thing_ , and if that meant putting himself out on a limb, then he would.

And he had.

And Phil had done the equivalent to saying “yes.” At least that’s what Dan thought. He’d confirmed it on twitter, at least.

Suddenly, Dan was freaking out. Most of their interactions on Twitter had been the truth, but a lot of it  _was_  just for show. What if Phil hadn’t been able to reject Dan because they were stuck on a public forum?

  
Dan was beating himself up, then. He hadn’t wanted to ruin this, but what if he had? He pulled out his phone quickly, and opened up his DM’s.

**Dan Howell:**  was that inappropriate??

**Dan Howell:**  that may have been my way of asking you out

**Dan Howell:** properly

**Phil Lester:** Definitely not inappropriate, but I’m glad you cleared that up

**Phil Lester:**  That was most definitely me saying yes

Dan couldn’t help his little sigh of relief.

\--

They didn’t see each other outside of filming for the rest of the week, but that didn’t stop them from flirting, stealing kisses during break, and making the most of their honeymoon phase.

Filming got even better, at that point. There had previously been the obvious sexual tension between them, which PJ capitalized on by making them film the most heavily tension filled scenes, but now? Now they had even better chemistry, and Dan was truly falling in love with Phil.

The scenes PJ made them work on now were heavily romantic, but more than once, he’d had to force Phil back into line when he reacted the way  _Phil_ would to Ethan’s romances, rather than how  _Markus_  should.

It was still fun, and going along better than it had been previously. The bordering-on-sexual scenes were a piece of cake, now that certain...barriers had been discarded. Phil expressed being embarrassed, a few times, because the scenes were much more real than they might otherwise be (the two couldn’t keep their hands off each other, much like Ethan and Markus), but Dan made sure to reassure him.

It was good, it was fun, and Dan was mostly able to ignore Finn.

Their scenes, however, were quickly falling apart, and PJ had just about given up on them.

“If you two can’t get your shit together, and act like the professionals you are, I’m done here!” PJ screeched a few weeks later, throwing his script down onto the floor after Dan angrily pushed a smirking Finn away from him.

“It’s not my fault Finn  _refuses_  to stick to his lines!”

“I don’t care whose fault it is,  _it’s going to stop right now_!”

\--

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil saw this and thought of you [http://euimages.urbanoutfitters.com/is/image/UrbanOutfittersEU/5216436076611_040_b?$detailMain$](http://euimages.urbanoutfitters.com/is/image/UrbanOutfittersEU/5216436076611_040_b?%24detailMain%24)

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire Awwwww #cute

**Morisa Phan @morephanplease**

@AmazingPhil @danisnotonfire did you buy it for him?

**Len Tu @lendmeyourfeet**

@AmazingPhil @danisnotonfire ewww, gross! be more romantic Dan, we know you can be!

\--

_Matt’s face was almost unbearably close, but Ethan leaned in to hear him better. There were still tear tracks wet on his cheeks, and more than anything else, Ethan needed Matt right then._

_“He’s never going to love you, you know,” Matt said softly, reaching up to cup one of Ethan’s cheeks. “He’s just experimenting.”_

_“I know, but things have been different lately, and-” Matt cut him off with a finger to his lips._

_“Don’t, Ethan. It’s a lie, and you know it. He’s a liar,” Matt said softly, and then he was kissing Ethan, lips harsh and demanding against his. Ethan’s fingers wound their way into Matt’s hair, and he kissed back just as feverishly, eyes jammed shut tightly so he wouldn’t have to see what he was doing._

_Markus had broken his heart, and Matt was mending it, but still...Ethan just wanted to have Markus up against him right then._

“Phil doesn’t love you either, and he never will,” Finn suddenly hissed into the shell of Dan’s ear, breaking character just for a moment, causing Dan to gasp. His eyes flew open, but Finn covered up the change by biting into Dan’s neck harshly.

_Ethan staggered backwards, legs hitting the edge of the bed, and then he was tumbling down, Matt on top of him._

_“I love you,” Matt whispered into his ear, and Ethan let his eyes slide closed as Matt began to undress him._

_The tears just kept coming._

\--

“Fuck you!” Dan screamed the minute the scene was over, pressing his palms into Finn’s chest and throwing him off of him. The minute he was clear, Dan scrambled up and off of the bed, and was gone.

It was bad enough having to film a scene like that, knowing his character  _had_  to believe that Markus didn’t love him, without Finn making it about real life as well. It was bad enough having to submerge himself so fully into his character that Dan actually had to  _suffer_  the belief that any version of Phil could not love him.

And maybe it wasn’t love yet, but they were getting there. Then Finn Harries had to go and make it about him. Finn Harries had to make that moment so much worse than it had to be.

Dan wasn’t sure how he managed to find Phil, but he did, and the minute he caught sight of his worried eyes, he marched right up to him and took his hand, dragging him around the corner and away from the set.

Phil didn’t even have a chance to react before Dan had him pressed up against a corridor wall, mouths jammed together.

He pulled away with a gasp, staring down at Phil’s half-lidded, surprised face, and then drew their mouths back together again.

“Fuck, I needed that,” Dan stated once he was done, panting against Phil’s lips.

“What happened?” Phil managed to ask.

“Finn happened,” Dan responded, resting his forehead against Phil’s and closing his eyes. “I thought, for just a moment...that that really was our story,” Dan added more quietly, brow furrowing at the thought.

Phil nudged their noses together, and then kissed Dan again, this time less fiercely.

“Well, it’s not,” Phil assured him with a gentle smile.

\--

"I don't know what I'm going to do," PJ groaned, glancing over at Phil from his spot on  _Phil's_  sofa.

"What do you mean?" Phil asked, looking up from his phone.

"About the movie," PJ said, waving his arms about vaguely. "About Finn and Dan."

"Oh," Phil said, letting his breath out in an unhappy sigh.

"I don't think I can keep Finn cast as Matt, it just isn't working between him and Dan."

"Because he's a right prick," Phil said.

"I know you don't like him," PJ said, "But he's good for the role. Still, I'm thinking about contacting that American actor, Connor Franta. Seeing if he wants to take it over. We haven't done too much filming with Finn's character, we could make it up. I don't know."

"I wish I could help, Peej," Phil said, "But I'm not exactly going to tell my boyfriend he has to make out with  _Finn Harries_  better."

"I know," PJ said, "And I'm not asking you too, I just needed to vent."

"Maybe you should give this Connor guy a call."

"Maybe."

\--

"You're going to tell me everything," Cat Valdes, one of Phil's oldest friends, said as she brought her Starbucks coffee up to her lips.

"I have a boyfriend now," Phil said with a cheeky grin.

"Obviously. I may live in America and only see you a couple times a year, but I do follow you on twitter, Philip Lester," she said, flicking her hair out of her face.

"And I want you to meet him," Phil continued, rolling his eyes at her comment.

"I should hope so, otherwise I made this trip for nothing!"

"Isn't visiting me something?" Phil asked with a laugh.

"Hardly," Cat replied. "So when do I get to meet him?"

"Right now, if you want. He's supposed to be here soon," Phil said, chewing on his lip. "I hope you like him."

"I'm sure I will," Cat reassured him, turning her attention to the door.

As if he’d planned it, Dan pushed open the door, and Phil heard Cat's breath catch.

"I still can't get over the fact that you're dating  _Dan Howell_ ," she whispered.

"Neither can I," Phil admitted.

"Hey," Dan said, pressing a soft kiss to Phil's lips as soon as he was close enough, before dropping into the seat next to him.

"I'm Dan," he said, offering his hand to Cat.

"And I'm never washing this hand," she declared as soon as Dan let go of it.

"She means that 'her name is Cat, and it's lovely to meet you'," Phil translated, "But she's American."

Dan chuckled. "It's nice to meet you, Cat. How long have you and Phil known each other?"

"Long enough to have some embarrassing childhood stories about him," Cat said with a wicked grin. "His family rented the condo next to my family's down in Orlando every summer."

"Don't you dare," Phil said, feeling his cheeks flush.

"Well there was this one time..."

\--

"I bet you were a cute kid," Dan said as Phil settled down next to him on the sofa.

"I didn't know how to dye my hair," Phil said, as if that explained everything. He couldn't believe Cat had told Dan embarrassing stories about him. Most of the time he loved her to pieces, but that was just cruel.

"And I thought I was a surfer," Dan said with a shrug.

"You didn't!" Phil said, turning to look at his boyfriend with wide eyes.

"I swear I did," Dan said. "I had a necklace and everything."

"I'd kill to see that," Phil declared.

"I'm sure my mum will show you," Dan said, and Phil felt his eyes widen.

"I'm going to meet your mum?" he asked.

"Well, yeah, I mean isn't that normal etiquette when people are dating?" Dan asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with just a little bit of drama. I'm sure you guys can handle it. Next update Thursday! (PS THIS IS LATE BECAUSE ELIZA HAD AN ESSAY AND A MIDTERM ON THE SAME DAMN DAY)
> 
> Special thanks to betas mostlikelyprocrastinating and katthequeen520

It honestly came out of the blue. One moment, Dan was on a mini-break from filming while he went out to California to visit his family, and the next, there was a shitstorm on twitter.

**Finn Harries @FinnHarries**

@danisnotonfire Thanks for the date ;) <https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B-Asi7PIQAEQhPp.jpg>

**Liza Thornberries @mylifeisamadeupmovie**

@danisntonfire @FinnHarries @AmazingPhil HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO PHIL!?

**Meghan @alphabetsoup**

@danisnotonfire @FinnHarries I ship it #Fann #Dinn

**Henriette Thomas @zomgphan**

@danisnotonfire @FinnHarries @AmazingPhil what about #phan!? what happened!?

**Geffrey New @commonsensefriends**

@danisnotonfire @FinnHarries @AmazingPhil isn’t Dan in america right now??

Dan didn’t waste a moment calling Phil the second he’d become aware of the situation. So far, Phil had neglected to respond, nor had he messaged Dan, and it had been four hours already.

Dan was kicking himself. Of all the times to actively avoid his social media accounts, it had to be when Finn was trying to create drama.

“Phil is indisposed, can I take a message?” PJ’s voice answered, words curt. Dan groaned, drawing a hand aggressively down his face.

“Please tell me Phil doesn’t actually think I’m cheating on him,” Dan begged. There was the sound of a phone being shifted around, and Dan hoped PJ was putting Phil on the line.

“Depends. Where are you right now?” PJ asked, and Dan wanted to scream. Instead, he sat down on a lawn chair in front of his parent’s swimming pool, and hung his head between his legs.

“In California, visiting family, like I said,” Dan managed to grit out, one hand at the back of his neck to rub at the stiff muscles there. “Please, PJ, just put Phil on the line. Let me talk to him. This is all just a misunderstanding. That’s a pic I took with Finn ages ago. I expected him to post it when I was still trying to make Phil jealous, please,” Dan begged, praying that, if anything, he was currently on speaker phone.

“Why would I have offered for Phil to come home with me to meet my family, if I honestly wasn’t in California right now?” he tried. Finally, the sound of the phone rustling around on the other end began again, and then a new voice came on the line.

“So, you didn’t go out with Finn behind my back?” Phil asked, and Dan could hear the slight tremor in his voice that gave away just how hurt he really was.

“Of course not, Phil! I told you, I was never interested in him. And now, he’s trying to rip us apart,” Dan soothed. “I promise, I’m really out in California right now. I’ll even take a picture to prove it to you, if you want,” Dan assured.

Phil was hesitant on the other end of the line, and then he said “No. I trust you. You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

But Dan was barely listening. He’d already began scanning his surroundings for something, _anything_ , to prove his location.

“Just get home soon, alright?” Phil asked, causing Dan to pause.

“I’ll be home before you know it,” he promised, and with a short goodbye, the two hung up.

Maybe Phil didn’t need reassurance, but Dan sure did, and so did Finn and the rest of their followers, so he waited until he’d gone inside and was with his family before snapping a picture.

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

With the fam bam <http://instagram.com/p/Z3hQ6IpgLp/?modal=true>

\--

Dan hadn’t been home for five minutes before there was a knock on the door.

He dropped his things off in the hallway, before he turned and headed back to his front door. Part of him was hoping it was Phil, come to greet him, but part of him knew that couldn’t be true.

Still, the last thing Dan was expecting was to find Finn standing on the other side of the door, and he was so stunned, the other man was able to push past him and into his apartment.

“Uhm, excuse you, but I don’t think I invited you in here!” Dan growled, grabbing Finn’s shoulder and spinning the other man around. Finn just shrugged.

“Don’t care,” he responded, and that’s when Dan realized how upset Finn looked.

“Look, unless we work out our differences, I’m out of a contract,” Finn confessed, and his eyes were wild as he spoke. “Just...tell me you weren’t honestly just using me to get Phil when we started this thing.”

Dan took a deep breath, startled at the subject and the news. “I...Look, I used to have a crush on you, okay? But even before I knew that I could actually have Phil, I only had eyes for him. I’m sorry,” he confessed.

Finn nodded his head like that’s what he’d been expecting, and then winced.

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s what I thought.”

They stood quiet in the hallway then, Dan trying to figure out a subtle way to kick Finn back out, and then Finn lifted his head and looked at him.

“I’m sorry, Dan. I hadn’t intended to start acting like a maniac. I just...really liked you,” he admitted, stretching out his hand. “Can you forgive me, and allow us to just get past this?” he asked, his face sincere.

Dan nodded once, and shook his hand, wary but willing to do anything to stop this ridiculous feud.

“Alright. You’re forgiven,” Dan said, and Finn smiled at him.

“Thanks,” he said, and then he was gone.

\--

It wasn’t planned. One minute, Dan was standing outside Phil’s apartment door, waiting to be let in, and the next, he was on Phil’s bed, his shirt off and his trousers half way down his legs.

“Phil,” Dan moaned, as the other man pressed sharp kisses into his collarbones. Phil didn’t answer, just continued to press into Dan roughly, hips rough as they ground down onto Dan’s.

Phil was fully dressed, other than having his belt buckle undone and the zipper of his jeans yanked down. That’s as far as Dan had gotten before Phil had taken over, his lips strong and insistent against Dan’s.

“Fuck,” Dan groaned as Phil ground down at just the right angle, thrusting his hips up for more friction. Phil’s hands held him down as he crashed their mouth’s back together in a heated kiss.

“Missed you,” Phil managed out, panting against Dan’s lips.

“I can see that,” Dan teased, though his own breathing was just as ragged.

“Can’t believe you were gone so long,” Phil continued, trailing kisses down Dan’s torso as he spoke. “Glad you...posted that picture,” he managed to get out, and then Dan found himself moaning out in pleasure, Phil’s head nestled between his legs.

\--

It was only afterwards that Dan could hold Phil, murmuring sweet nothings into the shell of his ear as he stroked his dark hair.

“I know I was kind of a dick, when we first met, but I would _never-”_

“I know,” Phil assured him, cutting Dan off and lifting his head up from off of his chest. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I trusted you. You didn’t have to post proof.”

Dan smiled.

“No, but it made you feel better,” he replied, nuzzling into Phil’s neck and wrapping his arms around him tighter.

\--

Phil didn't want to admit it, but he was really glad that Dan had posted that picture. It's not that he didn't trust Dan, because he did. But that flicker of doubt when he saw that picture on his twitter, that was something he never wanted to experience again.

Filming was absolutely flying past, the movie nothing but a blur of scenes and caffeine and too much sugary food. Before he knew it, he and Dan had been officially dating for almost a month.

"Come on," Dan was saying from where he was stretched across Phil's bed. "We have somewhere we need to be."

Phil poked his head out of the closet, "I know that," he said. "I'm just trying to decide what to wear."

"Wear that nice dress shirt," Dan said. "You know, the bluey-green one."

"This one?" Phil asked, pulling the dress shirt out of his closet.

"That's the one," Dan said with a nod. "It's Zoe's engagement party, not a movie premiere. You don't have to get totally dressed up.

"Says the guy wearing the same shirt that Harry Styles was seen wearing last weekend."

"Hey, shut up!" Dan said with a laugh. "I didn't know that when I bought it."

\--

"Hi guys," Zoe squealed, Phil hadn't exactly been surprised when he and Dan had been invited to another one of Zoe's parties (since she seemed to have one every weekend!) but he had been surprised to be invited to Zoe's _engagement party._ Even Dan had been surprised. Neither boy had known Zoe and her boyfriend were that serious. "Look at my ring," she said, practically shoving her hand into their faces.

"Wow," Phil said, taking in the size of the diamond. "That's really nice."

"I know," she said with a grin. "I'm so glad you two came. I know engagement parties are more of a girly thing-"

"We wouldn't have missed it for the world," Dan reassured his friend. "So where's the lucky guy? I want to go say hi."

"Last I saw he was with Joe," Zoe said, glancing around the room. "Oh, Louise!" she called before disappearing into the crowd.

"Have you met Alfie yet?" Dan asked, reaching over and intertwining their fingers.

Phil shook his head. "Nope."

"He's great," Dan said. "He makes Zoe really happy."

"You too have been friends for a long time, then?" Phil asked.

"Oh yeah, Louise introduced us ages ago. Before I came out to her, she kept trying to set us up," Dan explained.

"Louise set you up?" Phil asked with a laugh. "I'd pay to see that."

"Well she still did it, after, you know, I came out. She just started picking guys," Dan explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Oh my god," Phil chuckled. "I bet you wanted to kill her every time, too."

"Yeah," Dan said, chuckling. "Come on, let's go find Alfie."

"What the hell," Phil muttered, catching sight of two figures pressed against the wall near the back of the room.

"Is that Finn?" Dan asked, following Phil's gaze.

"And Bethany? Yeah, it is," Phil said.

\--

Dan couldn’t help but feel happy that Finn had found someone in the end, and shared a conspiratorial smirk with Phil in response to the way Finn had Bethany pinned up against the wall as they kissed.

They made a cute couple, Dan decided.

“Reminds me of us,” Dan teased, after a moment. Phil rolled his eyes.

“No,” he disagreed. “We were never quite that bad.”

“Yes, we were,” Dan replied derisively. “We just made sure it was behind the scenes,” he added with a wink. Then he entwined his fingers with Phil’s and laughed at his yelp of surprise as he began to drag him along behind him.

“Careful,” he shot over his shoulder, eyes already scanning the crowded apartment for Alfie.

“I’ll try,” Phil replied dryly.

Eventually, the two found Alfie in the kitchen, chugging a glass of water. He immediately smiled and waved at the two of them once he caught sight of them, and slammed his empty glass on the counter.

“It’s great to see you guys!” he exclaimed, pulling Dan and Phil both into a friendly hug. “Not to mention it’s nice to finally officially meet you,” he added as he pulled away and stuck his hand out for Phil to shake. Dan grinned proudly, and wrapped his arm around Phil’s waist in a possessive gesture.

“Careful, he’s mine,” Dan said with a laugh.

“Congrats on your engagement,” Phil cut them off, eyes wide and earnest with his obvious attempts to avoid an awkward conversation. Alfie, on the other hand, just laughed, and clapped Phil on the shoulder.

“Thanks, mate. I smell another one on the horizon,” he replied with a little wink and another laugh. Meanwhile, Dan could feel his face heating up.

“I - what?” Phil managed to stutter out, sending Dan a confused look to which Dan responded by shrugging awkwardly, eyes wide.

“I’m just messing with ya!” Alfie said, clapping Phil on the shoulder again with another laugh. “Just some good natured teasing. I’ve gotta go find Zoe, though. It was nice meeting you!” he said, and then he was gone.

“Well, then,” Dan finally managed to get out after a few moments of awkward and confused silence. “I think he might be a little drunk.”

Phil snorted but agreed.

“He seemed nice enough though,” he said, turning to grab a beer from the cooler resting in the sink. Dan stared after him, eyebrow quirked, and then grabbed Phil around the waist again to pull him close.

“You totally have a crush on him,” he whispered into Phil’s ear. Phil immediately began to blush, and pulled away.

“I do not!” he replied,

“Oh, you so do!” Dan replied with a laugh. “You think he’s cute!” he teased, pulling a mock frown. “I thought you only had eyes for _me_ , Philip Lester!” he whined.

Phil rolled his eyes, but didn’t stop blushing, and pulled Dan in.

“I do only have eyes for you,” he said quietly, one hand cupping the back of Dan’s neck. “I promise,” he added, and then they were kissing, the heat of the room very suddenly getting to Dan.

He hadn’t meant anything by the teasing, but he couldn’t deny that he quite liked the response.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: As always special thanks to mostlikelyprocrastinating and katthequeen520 for being super awesome beta’s and I hope you guys enjoy today’s chapter. Also, if you haven’t seen it. insanityplaysfics and I have a playlist that goes along with this fic which you can listen to here: [XXX](http://notanannoyingfangirl.tumblr.com/post/115881650713/heart-ache-on-the-big-screen-five-seconds-of)

“I’m so sorry to have interrupted your evening!” Louise gushed, wringing her hands at her sides as she stood in Dan’s doorway. “It was a last minute thing, and there was no one else to ask!” she explained.

Dan just waved her off with a roll of his eyes. “It’s fine, Louise, I promise. You know how much I love Darcy,” he replied, getting down on one knee to face the shy child. “Hey! Are you excited to spend the day with Uncle Dan?” he asked, smiling as Darcy continued to hide behind her mum’s leg.

Beside him, Dan could feel Phil joining him on the ground.

  
“Promise we’ll have loads of fun!” Phil encouraged, smile equally as warm as Dan’s as they both tried to gain her favor.

“Remember Phil?” Dan asked. “He’s that friend I promised you’d be seeing more of, and he’s really excited to play with you today!”

Darcy let out a giggle at that, sending Phil a tiny, shy glance, and then she bounded out from behind her mum and threw herself into Dan’s arms. Dan grinned as he grabbed her and stood up.

“See, it’s no problem, Louise. You can pick her up whenever. Have fun!” Dan said, and then he was closing the door in Louise’s face, because he knew her, and he knew she would dwaddle until forced to leave.

She hated being away from Dracy, and that’s why Dan rarely got to babysit, though he’d expressed his interest multiple times.

Phil shot Dan a bewildered look at that, but otherwise didn’t comment as he stood up as well and waved at Darcy.

“Hello!” he greeted. “It’s nice to meet you again. Are you hungry?” he offered, voice soft. Dan could feel Dracy nodding her head yes in his hands, and grinned at Phil.

“Looks like a yes to me. What would you like to eat? A sandwhich? With the crusts cut off?” Dan offered as he began to make his way into the kitchen.

“Peanut butter and jelly!” Darcy squealed with a happy laugh, clapping her hands together excitedly as she twisted in Dan’s hold.

“Peanut butter and jelly it is,” Dan enthused with a little cheer of his own.

\--

After lunch, Phil pulled out a deck of cards from one of Dan’s drawers. How he’d known they were there, Dan would never know, but it hardly mattered. The fact that Phil was performing card tricks for Darcy was too entertaining to pass up.

“Pick a card, any card!” Phil said in his best performance voice, eyes wide as he offered the deck to Darcy. “But don’t show me!” he cautioned her as she giggled and pulled one out. Dan ooh’ed appreciatively as she showed it to him.

“Now memorize that card,” Phil instructed, looking at Dan pointedly as he did, “And then put it back in the deck,  _face down_ ,” he urged, closing his eyes quickly when Darcy accidentally flashed the front at him.

“Ready?” he asked, opening them again after a moment, and smiling when Darcy quickly shouted “Yes!”

“Alright, now watch me carefully. I’m going to shuffle the deck,” he was saying as he did so, “and then I’m going to -” Phil didn’t finish his sentence as he let the deck loose, the cards flying out and into Darcy’s and Dan’s faces.

Darcy squealed, and Dan flinched back in surprise. The two were sat on the floor in front of Phil, Darcy in Dan’s lap, and now they were covered in playing cards. Dan stared up at Phil with wide eyes, while Darcy laughed.

Grinning, Phil pulled a card out of his back pocket, and asked “Is this your card?”

Somehow, it was.

“Again, again!” Darcy demanded, clapping her hands together, and Phil laughed, bending down to pick up the cards.

Dan, meanwhile, was too busy staring at him in awe; not because of his silly trick, but because of how good he was at performing; because of how good he was at entertaining...because of how good he was with Darcy.

Dan had very nearly given up on the idea of ever having a partner to share children with, but now? Well, now Dan was considering it.

Maybe Alfie hadn’t been so off base the other day.

Dan was definitely in love.

\--

Darcy had just gone home, and the two were cuddling on Dan’s sofa together, some cheesy movie playing in the background. Dan’s head was pillowed on Phil’s chest, just the way he liked it, when he decided to speak up.

“I think I could fall in love with you, too,” he murmured, face warm with nerves.

When Phil didn’t say anything, Dan peered up at him. His jaw was slack, his eyes wide, and Dan couldn’t help but grin.

He moved to straddle Phil and cupped his cheek with a gentle hand.

“Actually, I think I already am,” he added, a whisper against smooth skin. “In love with you, I mean. Tonight showed me that.”

Phil didn’t answer. Instead, he slammed their mouths together roughly, fingers tight in Dan’s hair. He kissed like a desperate man searching for water, eyes squeezed shut like he was in pain.

Dan’s heart was beating fast in his rib cage.

Finally, Phil pulled away.

“I love you, too,” he announced, his smile beaming.

\--

Phil had never expected to fall in love with Dan, and yet here they were, bundled up together in Dan’s bed. In the beginning, maybe, he’d had a crush. Who didn’t have a crush on Dan Howell?  
  


But their first interaction had been a terrible, terrible mistake on Phil’s part, and it wasn’t until he’d really gotten to know the other man that he’d realized maybe, just maybe, he could actually fall for Dan.

And then it had happened. Phil’s heart started to do that little flippy over thing, and Dan had kissed him, and he was a goner, floating in a sea of budding feelings.

When Dan had confessed to him, that night, Phil couldn't have been any happier.

\--

"I'm still not happy Peej kept Finn in the movie," Phil muttered, glancing back from the set to look at Dan.

"Well, he was annoying sure, but I never wanted him to get  _fired_ ," Dan said. "I just wanted him to leave me alone."

"Yeah, I guess," Phil said with a shrug.

"Oh, hey, I meant to tell you, I have a photo shoot next week, so I'm going to be in Brighton for a couple days," Dan said suddenly.

"Oh, I'd love to come, but I'm supposed to go up North to visit my family," Phil said, feeling his heart sink. He'd been hoping that Dan would come up North with him.

"I know," Dan said sadly. "And I wanted to go with you, but I'm really sorry that I can't."

"It's okay," Phil replied. “I understand.”

\--

"You didn't tell me that freaking Evan Peters was going to be at the photoshoot with you," Phil snapped as soon as he answered his phone.

"So, it's not like it's important," Dan replied defensively. "You know that I love  _you_."

"But he's  _Evan Peters_ ," Phil said, stressing the name. "And you've only had a crush on him for, like, forever."

"Look, Phil, relax, okay?" Dan said, sounding tired. "I promise nothing is going to happen. Just enjoy your time with your family, okay? I love you."

"I love you too."

\--

"How was your time with your family?" Dan asked, as he stepped into Phil's apartment. However, the other boy didn't answer. Instead he pushed Dan against the nearest wall, covering the other boy's mouth with his own. Dan's hands were tangled in his hair, and his hands were resting on Dan's waist.

"Evidently I need to leave more often," Dan gasped as Phil pulled away.

"Or never leave again," Phil suggested, tugging on Dan's hand to lead him in the direction of the bedroom.

"That sounds good too," Dan agreed, before placing another kiss to Phil's lips.

\--

Watching Dan film scenes with Finn was torture. Watching his boyfriend making out with other guys was not exactly Phil's idea of a fun time.

Jealousy had been burning a hole in his stomach more often than he’d care to admit.

In fact, it felt like every time he saw Dan recently the other boy had somewhere else to be: a photoshoot in Brighton, or scenes to film around one of the nearby universities with Finn. It felt like he had time for everyone else, except for Phil. And he was sick of it.

"What are you doing tonight?" Phil asked as he handed Dan his cup of coffee.

Dan was silent for a few minutes, thinking, "I'm having dinner with an interviewer, I think, to talk about the movie."

"Of course you are," Phil muttered bitterly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s going to become of Phil’s sudden jealousy? Not so sudden, just more prominent~ Next update Tuesday, and I’m sure you’ll all love me by the end of this :)
> 
> Special thanks as always to [mostlikelyprocrastinating](http://mostlikelyprocrastinating.tumblr.com) and [katthequeen520](http://katthequeen520.tumblr.com) for beta’ing!!

Phil had been acting strange lately. Like, stranger than normal strange - and not in a good way, either. He’d been acting...possessive, jealous even.

And Dan wasn’t so sure he liked it.

“Hey, it’s me, Dan. Just finished with dinner, and I was wondering if you wanted to hang out? Call me back,” he said, voice weary over the phone. He wasn’t even sure why he was bothering to leave a message. His call hadn’t gone through, and it was obvious Phil was ignoring him, and yet, he didn’t want to seem like the bad guy.

Dan wasn’t even sure what he’d done wrong, or why Phil had suddenly gone on a rampage, but it bothered him. He wanted to fix it, if he could, because this relationship mattered to him, but it was looking more and more like Phil wasn’t going to let him.

So he sighed, pressed the end button on his phone, and started to walk home.

It wasn’t far, by any means, but it would give him time to think, and that was definitely something he would need.

Maybe Phil was just tired of sharing him, he thought. They hadn’t had much time alone together recently, especially with the hectic filming schedule PJ had put them on, and all the rearranging they’d constantly had to do in order to fit in family time as well as marketing.

Every time Dan thought they’d have a moment alone, it was snatched away by photographers, or their director, or some interviewer or another, and it was starting to take it’s toll on Dan as well.

But at least he had enough peace of mind not to go on a jealous rampage and freeze Phil out. The realization gave him an idea, though, and he smiled to himself as he remembered that Phil was most definitely not busy tonight, and what did Phil do when he was moping? Sit at home and watch Buffy.

\--

Dan was in his nicest dress shirt - the one with the cute design on the pocket - and his nicest black blazer. There was a box of pocky in one hand, and a DVD in the other, and he was stood right outside of Phil’s door. Now all he had to do was work up the courage to knock.

He wasn’t even sure why he was so nervous, but he was. What if Phil really didn’t want to see him right now? It _was_ pretty late, and the two of them did have to film early the next morning, but still. How was Dan ever going to fix things with Phil if he wasn’t willing to go out on a limb? So he knocked.

And then he knocked again.

And again.

Finally the door swung open, revealing an incredibly disgruntled Phil in star war’s pj’s and a dark t-shirt.

Dan’s dark t-shirt.

He couldn’t help but grin.

Phil’s face, on the other hand, was startled. “What are you doing here?”

“Didn’t you get my message? I wanted to hang out,” Dan explained with a soft smile, trying to hide his worry behind excitement. Phil stared at him.

“What message?”

Dan frowned. “It doesn’t matter,” he finally said with a shake of his head, willing his smile to return. “Are you going to invite me in? I brought you chocolate, and a movie,” he tried.

Phil finally snapped out of his shock then, and glanced down to take in the items in Dan’s hands, and then his face finally broke out into that smile that Dan loved so much.

“Of course,” he agreed, and moved out of the way to let Dan in.

\--

It wasn’t until much later that Dan brought up his concerns, when they were under the blankets together, post-orgasm.

“Phil?” Dan asked, his voice quiet in Phil’s ear.

“Hmm?” the other man asked, rolling over so he was facing Dan.

“Are we okay? I mean...you’ve been...different, lately,” he said cautiously. Phil froze up beside him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mumbled, and rolled back away again. This time, there was at least a foot of space between them, and Dan couldn’t help but to feel hurt.

“Phil, talk to me,” he pleaded, sitting up and turning on the light beside him. “I’m worried. You haven’t been acting like yourself and-”

“I’m fine, Dan! Nothing’s wrong. Just drop it!” Phil demanded, cutting Dan off, and Dan fell silent. After a moment, he turned the light back off, and got back in bed.

The two slept with their backs to each other that night.

\--

It had been a week, and things were still rocky between them. Phil had gotten into a habit of giving Dan the cold shoulder each time Dan had to cancel plans with him in order to do something for the movie, or even just his own career.

His face was always twisted into something indecipherable whenever Dan got back from filming a scene with Finn, and the sudden jealousy was beginning to eat away at Dan.

He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take, and on top of that, today they had to film the hardest scene in the film. The end.

_“Fuck, Markus,” Ethan moaned on a soft sigh, his eyes fluttering shut at the intense pleasure of the other man kissing down his neck. “I love you,” he mumbled, the words slipping out._

_There was a slight pause, and then “I love you, too,” said in a gruff voice. Ethan stilled, heart hammering away in his chest._

_“You’re leaving tomorrow,” he stated softly, interrupting the way Markus was trying to kiss him, and looking up at him with clear brown eyes filled with worry and distress._

_“Will I see you again?” he asked._

_Markus didn’t answer, just stared at Ethan like he was disappointed in him. Then he sighed, and ran a hand through dark hair._

_“...of course,” Markus finally responded, but he wasn’t looking at Ethan. “Do you not want me tonight, babe?” he asked. Ethan shook his head._

_“Only if we don’t say goodbye.” That got Markus’ attention, and he finally turned to look Ethan in the eye._

_“Okay,” he agreed, and his voice was so soft that Ethan believed him._

_They fell into bed together, then, and went to sleep in each other’s arms._

_The next morning, Markus was gone._

_\--_

_“You knew he’d leave you, in the end,” Matt said softly from beside him. Ethan wasn’t sure when he’d shown up._

_He’d been standing, alone, at the train station for two hours now. He’d meant to see Markus off, but he must have left early._

_“...Maybe,” Ethan agreed. “I was just hoping-”_

_“That he’d change?” Matt finished for him. Then he shook his head, and took Ethan’s hand in his own._

_“Nah. Markus is never going to change. He has this idea in his head, that he has to grow up, marry, and have 3.5 kids. He was never going to stay with you,” Matt chided softly. When Ethan turned to look at him, his eyes were warm and sweet._

_“I guess you were right,” he finally said, and then turned so he was standing in front of Matt, the way he should have been all along. “I guess you were right all along,” he continued, and then he reached up and kissed him._

\--

Dan was crying by the time they’d finished filming - not some big show, but a few tears, trickling down his cheek. It had felt so _real_. Dan had almost forgotten how passionate Phil could be, especially in bed. They might not have gone all the way, for filming, but still. The touches, and the kisses, had felt so reminiscent of a time that felt so far away, now, that it physically hurt for Dan to experience it.

Not to mention that the Phil in the movie had promised him he wouldn’t leave, and then had gone and done so.

Dan was quick to find Phil after that scene, eyes doing a quick scan of the room. When he didn’t see his boyfriend right away, he made his way to his dressing room.

“Phil?” he called, knocking softly. He didn’t care if Phil didn’t want to see him right then - Dan needed him. “Phil, are you in there?” he called again when he got no answer.

Finally, the door opened, but it wasn’t the sight Dan had wanted to see. Rather than welcoming Dan in with warm arms, Phil was glowering at him, whole body blocking the entrance way.

Dan’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Phil?” he asked.

“Come to grovel at my feet, now that Harries is officially done with you?” Phil asked, eyes drawn in an angry frown.

“Wh-what?” Dan asked, surprised by Phil’s anger.

“I saw the way you were looking at him! Couldn’t even break up with me in real time, could you? Had to let the movie do it for you,” Phil muttered, and that’s when it clicked for Dan.

That’s when Dan got angry.

“Excuse me!?” he growled. “You think - you think that was real!?” he asked, incredulous. “I’m here because of how badly it hurt to think that you would leave me like that, and you think I’m in love with Finn again!?”

He was shouting now, voice loud in the small corridor. Phil, on the other hand, finally looked confused - like someone had slammed a ton of bricks into his head and he’d finally come to his senses.

“Wait, Dan, I didn’t mean-”

“No, of course you didn’t. You never _mean_ anything, Phil!” Dan continued. “You just get irrationally jealous and take it all out on me. I’ve been dealing with this for two weeks, Phil. _Two weeks_ , and I don’t think I can take it anymore! I came here to get some comfort from my boyfriend, and he turned on me. I’m done! We’re over!” he shouted, and then he was storming off, tears in his eyes.

“Wait, Dan! Dan, stop!” Phil was shouting after him, but Dan wasn’t listening. He was done. His heart was broken, and he never wanted to see Phil again.

\--


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry that this chapter was late. Unfortunately I was at a track meet all afternoon and was unable to post it any earlier. As always, thanks to mostlikelyprocrastinating and katthequeen520 for being super awesome beta readers.

Phil was a fucking idiot. He was an idiot, and he’d just ruined the best damn thing that had ever happened to him. His back was pressed against the rough wood of his dressing room door, and he could feel tears prickling in his eyes. And the worst part was that he had no one to blame but himself.

He didn't even know what had gotten into him, that was the worst part. It was like Dan made him crazy, and not always in a good way.

And the movie, god, it felt so real, it was getting hard for him to separate between the lines of fiction and reality. He'd never had that problem before.

And stupid Finn Harries, and Phil  _knew_  that Dan didn't like him, and that Finn had a girlfriend. It didn't matter, because every time they had to film a scene together Phil had to resist the urge to punch someone. He wasn't an angry person, he  _wasn't_. It was as if he had a disease hell bent on destroying the best relationship he'd ever had.

Dropping his head into his hands, Phil let the tears flow. Fucking  _Dan Howell_. Phil should have known better. With a start like theirs, how could they ever have anything but heartache?

\--

"No fucking way, Peej," Phil said, shaking his head.

"Look, Phil, this is all the way from the top, okay? You don't really have a choice," PJ said softly. "I know that you guys-"

"Just broke up?" Phil snapped, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. "And they want me to do an interview and act like everything is fine? Like we're still together?"

PJ rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Look, Phil, it really isn't up to me. It's just a couple of hours, you can do it."

"You should be a fucking motivational speaker, Peej," Phil said, his voice harsh. Then rushed to add, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

"I know you're upset, Phil. Maybe you can talk to Dan, and work things out," his friend suggested.

"I think we're a little past that, Peej."

\--

Phil's lips were almost bleeding from him chewing on them. His lips were almost bleeding, and his fingernails were stubs, and he hadn't talked to Dan yet. He hadn't talked to Dan yet, even though they were both in the back of the same car as PJ and someone Phil hadn't bothered to hear the name of the man coaching them on what to say during the interview.

Promote the movie. Act like a couple. Smile. Don't fight. Flirt a bit. Hold hands. Sit next to each other. Don't mention how they haven't spoken over social media in weeks. Pretend like they can look at the other. Don't cry.

Okay, some of those were Phil's tips to himself, but who was he kidding? If he and Dan got through this without killing each other, it could be counted as a victory.

"You got it?" PJ asked, and Phil nodded even though he'd barely been listening.

"Yeah," Dan said, and he reached over to intertwine their fingers. However, the iron grip he locked Phil's fingers in reminded both of them that everything was not alright.

"Good," PJ said, giving them a tight lipped grin. "Good luck."

Phil didn't need to hear the 'you'll need it' to know that it was there.

\--

"Hello, boys," the interviewer, a blonde haired woman who had a grin on her face like she meant business, said.

He and Dan were seated practically in each other's lap, the tiny love seat was apparently only really meant for one person. They were both holding microphones, and Phil could see the camera out of the corner of his eye, the bright red light painfully reminding him that this was live.

"Hi," Dan said cheerfully, and Phil thanked his lucky stars that Dan was such a good actor. He'd get them through this.

Not that Phil needed Dan's help. He could handle himself.

"It's lovely to meet you," Phil added, slipping an easy smile onto his face.

He was acting, playing a role. He could do that. He was  _good_  at that.

"Aw, thanks," the blonde said. "But I'm here to talk all about you two."

"My favorite subject," Dan said with a smirk.

\--

"The way you met was a bit... different. Care to elaborate?"

"We met over twitter, really, and we met in person once the movie was planned.”

"The movie! Not much has been released about it, would you shed any light on it?"

"We can't tell you much, but I can promise that you'll love it."

"Can you at least tell us what parts you'll be playing?"

"Well, Phil may or may not be my boyfriend both onscreen and off."

"Oh, that's so cute! Speaking of being offscreen boyfriends, I'm sure everyone in the audience is dying to know. What was your first date?"

"Technically, Starbucks, but the real answer is probably when Dan took me to Zoe's party."

"You both seem to do a lot with Zoe, and Alfie. Are you planning on attending their wedding?"

"We wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Is your wedding next?"

"Maybe."

\--

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

interview with the bae @AmazingPhil <https://41.media.tumblr.com/e4e2ff8fbac20997e421a833a513c539/tumblr_nd2d8uuvG31sjyapdo1_1280.jpg>

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire :)

\--

Phil felt like he was going to be sick. He hated lying. In fact he hadn't spoken much at all. Hopefully him being a naturally shy person would cover up that fact.

The whole thing had just been one blow after another.

And the worst part was that sometimes Phil forgot that they were broken up, and he would go to shoot Dan a small smile, before remembering that he  _couldn't do that_.

He couldn't do that, and it sucked.

Why had Dan just given up? Why didn't Dan try and talk to him? Why had Dan just walked away?

\--

Dan was shaking. He was back outside of his apartment, and he was shaking. The last few hours had been the hardest hours of his life, and that was saying something, considering he’d been acting for most of it.

His keys were in his hand, but he was struggling to put them in the lock, because he was shaking. He was shaking and trying so, _so_  hard not to cry.

He refused to cry.

The interview had been torture. Reliving the best few months of his life? Not something Dan had been planning on doing mere  _weeks_  after his break up. He hadn’t been planning on doing it  _ever_ , if he was being honest, and yet here he was, stood outside his own apartment, trying not to cry.

Dan hadn’t cried since they’d filmed that last scene together. Dan hadn’t cried since he’d stormed away from Phil. He hadn’t allowed himself to.

He’d refused to cry over something that  _wasn’t_ his fault, and yet, that was currently all he wanted to do.

 _Goddamnit, Phil!_  he thought, slamming a fist against the outside of his door.  _Why’d you have to do this to me?_

\--

Filming was a nightmare. Again. Dan could hardly look at Phil, especially considering he could see how miserable his counterpart was, but he had too. They still had at least another month/ month and a half of filming left to do before they could take a 6 month break from each other.

Maybe, after all that time, when they were forced to come back together for the premier, they would be okay again. Able to look at each other, if not be friends. 

Dan sighed and passed a hand through his fringe as he waited for Phil to get offstage. He wasn’t sure why he was torturing himself by forcing himself to watch the other male’s scenes, but he was.

So, maybe Dan missed him. Maybe Dan regretted their break up, but he wasn’t going to fix it. That wasn’t his job. This wasn’t his fault. And maybe that was stupid thinking, on his part, but Dan hadn’t been kidding.

He couldn’t handle a jealous Phil, especially not when their lives revolved around pretending to be someone they weren’t with people who sometimes weren’t their significant others. Especially not with the way Phil had taken to freezing him out.

Especially when it meant that Phil couldn’t be there for him, when he needed him most.

As soon as Phil’s scene was over, Dan turned on his heel and left. They wouldn’t need either of them for another good 15 minutes or so.

\--

When Dan got home, it wasn’t to an empty apartment.

Louise was sitting on his sofa, eyes sad, and a cup of tea in her hands.

“Hey, Louise,” Dan greeted with a heavy sigh, shrugging out of his jacket and dropping it on the floor as he made his way into the kitchen.

Tea wasn’t going to cut it for him. He grabbed the brandy stored in his cupboard, and made himself a drink.

“Hey, Dan,” Louise greeted back as he sat down across from her. “How are you doing?” she asked softly, and Dan shrugged his shoulders.

“Okay, I guess. Surviving,” he answered, taking a quick swig of the hard liquor from his glass. He grimaced, but sighed in relief. “Not so bad, I guess.”

Louise nodded in sympathy. “Ever think about talking to him?” she asked.

“Not my job,” Dan muttered, taking another drink and leaning back into his chair. He could still remember the way Phil had looked, sprawled out naked across the sofa where Louise was currently sat, stroking himself as he waited for Dan to return to the room with some lube.

He could still remember his smile, as he sat in the chair Dan was sat in, and laughed at some joke or another that Dan had to share.

He could still remember the way his laugh sounded, echoing around Dan’s flat, filling in all the silence places that echoed even louder in their emptiness now that Phil was gone.

Dan blinked, and made the images disappear.

“I think you should talk to him, Dan. I know it was his fault,” she added quickly, cutting Dan off as he opened his mouth to retaliate, “but I think you could work things out.”

Dan didn’t answer. Instead, he chugged down the rest of his drink, and slammed the glass down on the table.

“Maybe,” he admitted, tears that he didn’t want prickling at his eyes. “But I’ve already made a mess of things. And it hurts too much. He won’t want to talk to me.”

\--

“Lester! Get your head in the game! You’re supposed to be seducing Howell, not grimacing at him!” PJ shouted from the director’s chair three feet in front of them. “Trust me, he can take a little hip action! Now, try again!”

Dan sent Phil a sympathetic look, but pulled away from him for the fifth time that day, and moved back to his original spot propped up against the far wall of the “bar”.

His mind, meanwhile, was on the scene, and he was trying his hardest to stay in character and not fade back into Dan, because Dan? Dan wasn’t sure he could do another take.

It was too much, being pressed up against his ex-boyfriend, but there was nothing he could do about it. They still had a month left of filming, a month of hot and heavy scenes were Dan pretended to be in love with Phil, and Phil? Phil got to use him.

Each time Phil’s hands touched him, a shock ran all the way through his body, and he shivered and had to close his eyes, because it hurt so much. It was so hard to film this scene.

He’d loved this man. He’d wanted a family with him. And now?

Now he was pretending to not want him, while pretending he _did_ want him, for a stupid movie that couldn’t be over fast enough.

PJ yelled “action!”, and club music started to play.

_There was a man staring at him, and Ethan was casually glancing back, sipping at his third cocktail of the night while heavy music pounded around him. He wanted the man to come closer, but he knew the best way to play it, so he rolled his shoulders nonchalantly and began to walk away, throwing a glance behind him to make sure the dark haired stranger was following him._

_He was, and Ethan grinned._

_The crowd thickened as he pushed his way onto the dance floor, the sweaty masses pushing back, until finally he came to a stop, beginning to sway his hips to the heady beat._

_It didn’t take long for strong hands to get placed against his hips, and Ethan only had to glance over his shoulder to identify the owner as his stranger. He grinned, allowing the other man to lead his movements for a while as the beat grew heavier._

_Eventually, Ethan found himself turned around, brown eyes boring into blue as hips pressed together. Ethan’s arms were wrapped around broad shoulders, and pale hands continued to grip his waist, dragging their pelvises together in a steady rhythm as they continued to dance._

_Ethan could get drunk off their movements, allowing pale pink lips to drag against the skin of his neck until he couldn’t help but moan. His fingers fisted into the soft fabric of a white t-shirt, and he turned his head to force a kiss._

_It never came._

_“Name’s Markus,” a deep, throaty voice pressed into his ear instead._

_“Ethan,” Ethan introduced back, his own lips warm against the shell of his strangers ear._

_“Wanna get out of here?” Markus asked, grin sultry and blue eyes so hot._

_Ethan nodded eagerly._


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer** : In no way do I pretend that this is real or cast aspersions on Dan or Phil. 
> 
> Not including this one, we’ve only got two chapters to go! I just want to take a quick moment to start thanking everyone whose been with us through this entire ride! We both love this fic so much, and it’s amazing to see it get such a great response! I’m sure you’ll all love us by the end of this one ;) Next update Saturday!
> 
> Special thanks to mostlikelyprocrastinating and katthequeen520 as always!

Phil had been thinking about just not going. After all, Zoe was more Dan’s friend than his. But even so, he didn’t want to miss her wedding. He and Dan hadn’t spoken since their interview a month ago, except during filming, and it showed. PJ was constantly on their backs about their acting, and the makeup crew was on his back because of the dark circles under his eyes.

At first, he thought that Zoe and Alfie seemed to be moving pretty quickly, but they were obviously heads over heels for each other. They wanted to start a family - he couldn’t blame them. Hadn’t he wanted that too?

His time with Dan felt like a whole other life sometimes.

“Does this look okay?” Phil asked, holding the tux up against his body.

“It looks stunning,” Cat reassured him. She had flown all the way over from America to be his plus one to Zoe’s wedding, though Phil had his suspicions that she just wanted to check up on him after the break up.

The worst part was that he knew that Dan was going to be there.

Still, he could stick to the opposite side of the room. Zoe had assured him that it was going to be a private affair down in Brighton. No one from any magazines or websites. He and Dan wouldn’t have to pretend.

“I’m going to go get dressed,” Cat said. “Then we have to go.”

“I know,” Phil said with a groan.

\--

The wedding was beautiful, as Phil had known it would be. Zoe really had a knack for planning things like this. The reception even more so, if it was possible. The trees were strung with twinkling fairy lights, and beautiful white flowers covered almost every surface.

But something else had caught Phil’s eyes.

Dan was across the room, and he was pointedly ignoring Phil’s gaze. Still, he looked gorgeous in his suit. Phil had forgotten just how good Dan looked in black and white.

He’d lost Cat to someone, one of Alfie’s friends probably, who’d wanted to dance with her. That meant he had nothing to distract him from watching his ex-boyfriend from across the room. Which made him sound like a stalker. Great.

He had a glass of champagne in his hand, and his other was itching to pull out his phone. Just so he’d have something to do, a distraction. Otherwise he was probably going to make a very bad decision.

Dan hadn’t come with a date. That was a good sign, surely.

Downing the rest of his drink, Phil placed the empty glass on the table he was standing near. This was a bad idea.

He skirted the edge of the dance floor, making his way to the other side of the room before he could talk himself out of it.

“Hey,” he said softly, but still loud enough to be heard over the music, making the other boy’s head snap up.

Dan’s eyes were dark, and he looked angry, “Hey? That’s seriously what you’re going to say?”

“No, Dan,” Phil said, taking another step forward. “Come dance with me.”

Dan studied the hand that Phil was offering him. “This doesn’t mean anything,” the younger boy said. “We’re not getting back together.”

“Just come dance,” Phil pleaded, though he didn’t know why he was trying. Dan obviously hated him now.

“Just one song,” Dan said, giving in and taking Phil’s hand.

The song that was playing was slow, and Phil thought idly that it sounded an awful lot like the one that had played when they first danced at Zoe’s party ages ago. Dan placed his hands on Phil’s hips, pulling him close, but not close enough. Not nearly close enough.

“I miss you,” he said, his voice breaking, and he willed himself not to cry.

“I miss you too,” Dan said honestly. “But you know that doesn’t change anything.”

“We can work it out, Dan, we can fix us. I’m not giving up on you yet,” Phil said. “I still love you.”

Instead of answering, Dan bent down, letting his lips ghost over Phil’s. “I still love you too.”

\--

Dan had him pressed into the bed sheets in no time, kissing him with the fierce passion that Phil had missed. His eyes were closed, his heart hammering in his chest, and he was drowning in the feeling of having Dan touch him again. It wasn’t fair, how amazing it all felt.

He moaned as Dan ducked down to kiss his chest, and ran his fingers through soft brown hair, willing himself not to cry. He felt like he was on fire, and he never wanted it to end.

It was like nothing terrible had ever happened, and for a moment, Phil could pretend as he rolled them over and pinned Dan’s wrist above his head, kissing him hot and wet.

Dan moaned out his name as he ground his hips down, and Phil kissed him again, with all the love in his heart. He knew he had to make this up to Dan, but for now, he just wanted to be with him.

In every way possible, for just one more night.

\--

Phil woke up warm and tangled in bedsheets. He could feel Dan’s arm around him, and he turned over so that he could press a soft kiss to the other boy’s lips. Dan’s brown eyes flickered open, and he sat up, pulling Phil with him.

They were in some hotel near the wedding venue, where they had retreated not long after they kissed. Phil felt slightly bad about ditching Cat, but he’d texted her, and she was probably back up in London already. Actually, she was probably waiting in his flat so she could kill him.

“Let’s just stay here,” Dan said, pressing another kiss to Phil’s lips. “In this hotel forever.”

“It’s much better than the real world,” Phil agreed.

“Hmm, speaking of real world,” Dan said, looking like he was going to regret whatever he was going to say next. “We need to talk.”

“I know we do.”

\--

It was hardly fair, how amazing Phil had looked in a tuxedo last night. It was hardly fair, how he’d made his way over to Dan and seduced him back into his bed with just one kiss. It was hardly fair, because Dan wasn’t sure yet whether it was a mistake or not, but his body still ached in the most pleasant way from where Phil had touched him last night.

He’d missed this. All of this. Being with Phil in the most intimate of ways, waking up at his side...just being around him, in general.

He could still taste Phil on his tongue, and hear Phil muttering “I love you, I love you, I love you,” into his ear at random intervals last night, and it hurt, but it _hurt so good_. He’d missed this. He’d missed this so much.

Soon enough, he had to shake his head to disperse the tears that were threatening to fall, and he settled more comfortably back in bed, fully dressed now, while they waited for their breakfast to arrive.

Phil was in the shower. Phil was paying. Phil had looked so devastated and broken last night, and now he just looked determined.

The sound of the shower turning off startled Dan out of his thoughts, and he glanced up as his ex boyfriend walked out of the hot room in just a towel. A second towel was over his shoulders, and a third drying his hair, the way Phil always dried off. He cast Dan an apologetic look at his unclothed state.

“Sorry. I’m just...waiting for the room to cool down. I”ll change in there,” Phil assured him with a pained smile. Dan shook his head.

Before he could stop himself, he said, “Change here.”

Phil appeared startled by the words, eyes wide, but he nodded, and slowly continued to dry off. He turned his back on Dan as he dropped one towel after another, and quickly grabbed at his pants from the night before.

Dan got up, and hugged Phil from behind as he did so. The other male jumped in his hold, struggling to pull his clothes on, but did so anyway. He was shaking when he turned back to Dan, fully dressed.

“Dan-”

“I forgive you,” Dan said softly, reaching down to lace his fingers with Phil’s.

Before Phil could respond, a knock came at the door, and Dan sighed as Phil jumped to go answer it. Pinching the bridge of his nose, Dan returned to the bed and climbed in.

Phil was back in seconds to retrieve his wallet, and then again with their breakfast. He settled down next to Dan with a large gap between them, and offered Dan his food.

This was going to be a long couple of hours.

\--

“I’m sorry. I know you said you’ve already forgiven me, but I’m still so, so, sorry Dan,” Phil began, half way through their meal, and Dan’s head snapped up at the words. He was mostly just playing with his food, at this point, and from the looks of it, so was Phil.

Slowly, Dan moved his plate back to the room service tray, and then he took Phil’s as well. Phil watched him, his blue eyes wide and earnest.

“Dan-“

“Shut up,” Dan demanded, crawling back onto the bed and directly into Phil’s lap, straddling him so that their faces were inches apart. Dan let his forehead rest against Phil’s.

“I love you,” he said softly. Phil stared at him, eyes flickering back and forth between Dan’s, like he didn’t know where to look, or what to say.

“I love you, too,” he finally responded, and his voice sounded pained, like he was afraid this was going to be another goodbye.

Instead, Dan smiled, and kissed him softly, their lips coming together in a gentle kiss. Phil hiccupped into it, and Dan opened his eyes, taking in how Phil’s were scrunched shut like he was in pain.

The same way he’d looked last night when they’d had sex, again. Like he couldn’t quite believe this was happening, and if he closed his eyes tight enough, then it wouldn’t all just go away.

Dan pulled away and reached up to cup Phil’s cheeks.

“What happened?” he asked then.

Phil shook his head. “I don’t know. You make me feel crazy. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before, and I couldn’t…I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t handle it,” Phil confessed on one long breath, pausing to take in another huge one.

“It was like I couldn’t stop myself from getting angrier, and angrier, and instead of talking to you about it, I ran away and fumed, until it got to be too much, and I took it out on you. I know that scene took its toll on both of us, but instead of…instead of comforting you, I made everything worse. I let my jealousy take hold of me and ruin everything, and I can’t articulate to you how sorry I am for that,” he continued, and he was looking at Dan like he was pleading with him.

Dan sighed, rolling off and away from Phil so that he was lying next to him, staring at the ceiling in thought. He glanced at Phil until he followed his lead, shifting to lie down next to him.  
Dan laced their fingers together, and smiled at Phil’s startled look.

“I already told you, I forgive you,” he said softly, and then he turned his head back to look up at the ceiling. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t need to talk about this. That doesn’t mean we don’t have to fix this, before we can…be together again,” Dan explained softly, squeezing Phil’s fingers in his hand when the other man let out a huge breath.

“Okay,” Phil responded, and his voice sounded so small.

“Okay,” Dan agreed.

\--  
“This is our job, Phil. We can’t just get irrationally jealous when one of us has to kiss someone else. We can’t just let the word fall apart around us when we don’t get to spend enough time together. It’s part of the lifestyle we’ve picked – something we have to deal with, and I need to know that you can,” Dan said, eyes hard and serious as he looked at Phil.

They were sat up now, knees touching and hands tangled between them. Phil’s blue eyes gazed at Dan like he was his whole world.

“I know,” Phil started to respond. “I know, and I promise you I can,” he said. “I know I can’t prove it to you now, but I will,” he promised, eyes searching. Dan continued to stare at him.

Phil gulped nervously. “I’ll come to you, when I’m feeling overwhelmed. I won’t freeze you out like I did. I won’t put all the blame on you,” he added, eyes flickering back and forth between Dan’s again, searching for reassurance.

Dan smiled at him. Phil took another huge breath before continuing.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Dan. I want to build a family together. I’ve never had a relationship like this, and I’m not willing to let it go now. Not ever. Not for anything. And I’m not asking you now, but one day, I want to marry you. And one day, I want us to have kids. And I want us to grow old together. But that can’t happen if we don’t fix this. So please, please believe me and let us fix this,” Phil begged, his head down and his fringe hiding his eyes.

Dan’s heart was beating hard in his chest as he sat up and pushed Phil over and back onto the bed. Phil gasped at the sudden movement, legs automatically parting to allow Dan to settle more comfortably in between them.

“Okay,” Dan agreed with a cheeky smile, and then he kissed him. He leaned down, and pressed their lips together, and kissed Phil with all the passion that he had. “Okay, we’ll try this again. Because I want all of that too,” he added, once he was done, a shit-eating grin on his face before he kissed Phil again.

“But you have to promise me, you’ll come to me when something’s wrong. You won’t hide away from me,” Dan demanded, pulling away with a stern look on his face.

  
Phil nodded, eyes wide.

“I promise,” he said, and then Dan grinned and kissed him again, harder than the last few times, fingers tangled in his boyfriend’s dark black hair.

“I love you,” he whispered, as he moved his lips to kiss down the side of Phil’s jaw, one hand already wandering up the bottom of Phil’s dress shirt from last night.

“I love you, too,” Phil gasped out as Dan pinched one of his nipples between two fingers, and then they were rolling so that Phil was hovering over him.

“I love you, too,” he repeated, and then they were kissing again.  
\--


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can’t believe it’s already the end. As this is the final proper chapter of Notifs (leaving only the epilogue to come) I would just like to give a huge thank you to every one reading, as well as katthequeen520 and mostlikelyprocrastinating. insanityplaysfics and I have had so much fun writing this, I’m glad you all seem to be loving it as much as we loved working on it.

Phil couldn't believe his luck. He and Dan still had their problems that they needed to work on, of course they did. They were only human after all. But they were  _together_ , and that was the most important thing. **  
**

They were back in London, and had been officially dating again for about a week. Though they had yet to make any sort of public appearance, having been hiding out at Phil's flat enjoying the ease of slipping back into their relationship, they had both slipped back into the easy habit of sending each other flirty tweets.

"Will you stop stealing all of my cereal?" Dan called as he stepped out of the kitchen.

"Dan, we're at my house," Phil responded cheekily.

"I know that," Dan said, waving off Phil's comment, "But you know that you only bought that brand for me."

"Obviously not if I'm eating it."

"Whatever."

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

Tell @AmazingPhil to stop stealing my cereal

"Really, Dan?" Phil asked, moving to snatch his boyfriends phone out of his hands, "Twitter?"

"Give me that," Dan replied, attempting to steal his phone back.

"I don't think so."

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil is the best

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil has pretty eyes

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

#phan is life

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil just hacked my twitter, asshat

**Phil Lester @AmazingPhil**

@danisnotonfire maybe you shouldn't leave it open on your phone ;)

**Dan Howell @danisnotonfire**

@AmazingPhil you took the phone out of my hands?!??!?

\--

"Congratulations everybody," PJ said, looking around at the cast and everyone who had made the movie possible. Phil found himself following his friend's gaze. He'd grown quite fond of everyone working on the movie, he hoped they'd keep in touch. "I can officially say that this is the best project I've ever had the pleasure to work on. You are all lovely, and this has been the best time any director could wish for."

"I would just like to say," Dan added, stepping forward, "That this has been some of the best times of my life, so thank you everyone."

There was a bit of a party, after they had finished filming, for the cast members to say goodbye to everyone.

Normally, Phil would have tucked himself away by the snack table (which looked quite impressive), but something about "Only if we Don't Say Goodbye" made him want to talk to everyone one last time.

Except it wouldn't be one last time, not for everybody. Because he planned on seeing plenty more of Dan now that filming was done.

In fact, he went so far as to make Dan a key to his flat. It wasn't much, it wasn't a ring, but it was enough.

\--

It was amazing, getting to call Phil  _his_  again, and Dan did it every chance he got. When he was with Louise, or Zoe, Phil was all he could talk about. When he was out with the guys, he was constantly showing off.

He wore Phil’s hickeys like a badge of honor, and winked at the paparazzi each time they snapped their picture, pulling Phil into him for a cheeky kiss (Phil never seemed to mind, though he tended to blush and swat Dan on the arm afterwards). He spent most of his time tweeting silly messages at Phil, reveling in the fact that he could again, and laughing at their supporters responses.

But mostly, Dan was just glad to go to sleep in Phil’s arms every night. He was glad to plan romantic evenings together, and spend time alone, and though he joked about their relationship constantly, there was plenty he kept to himself. Private things and inside jokes that only he and Phil understood. Moments and pet names that only they were privy too.

Dan knew he was lucky to call Phil  _mine_.

\--

“Hey, honey, I’m home!” Dan called as he made his way into Phil’s apartment, arms full of takeaway.

“Welcome home!” Phil shouted back from the lounge, the sound of a movie starting up filling the flat. Dan grinned as he following the sound of his voice, and placed their takeaway down on the coffee table the minute he was in the same room.

Then, he walked over to Phil and took him into his arms, wrapping his hands around his waist and stuffing his hands in his back pockets.

“Hey, baby,” he said, leaning down to kiss Phil full on the lips. Phil laughed into it, and kissed him back.

“Hey,” he responded, hands resting on Dan’s hips.

“How was your day?” Dan asked him, pressing their foreheads together the way he always did.

“Better now that you’re here,” Phil responded with a little wink, and then laughed as he pulled away. His tongue was poking out of the corner of his mouth, and his eyes were scrunched together, and Dan loved it.

He loved that he got to see that expression, every day. He loved that things were getting better between them, and that the heavy strain of filming was gone for now. He loved that they could tease each other again, and that Dan could touch him without wanting to scream. He loved the fact that lonely nights in his own flat were no longer a thing.

Tonight was movie night, a compromise that the two of them had come up with a few weeks ago to ensure less strain on their relationship the next time one or both of them was filming. No matter what time, or how late at night, Sunday nights they’d stay up together and watch a film.

So far, it was working. It was nice to know that no matter what they were doing, Sunday nights they would be together.

“Go get us some forks,” Dan demanded after a minute of watching Phil, smacking his boyfriend on the ass the minute the other man had turned away to do as he was instructed. Phil shot him a dirty look over his shoulder, and Dan laughed, settling down on Phil’s cream coloured sofa as Phil disappeared into his kitchen. Glancing around himself, Dan took in the apartment he knew like the back of his hand.

His second home.

He sighed happily at the thought. Some days, he still couldn’t quite believe that he was allowed back here again. Welcomed, even.

Phil returned just then with a sly grin, and placed down matching forks and plates on the table before swinging his legs either side of Dan so that he was straddling him in revenge for earlier, hips pressing into Dan’s teasingly.

“Well, hello there,” Dan greeted, an easy grin on his face as his hands automatically found Phil’s hips.

“Hello,” Phil greeted for the third time, and kissed him.

“Ready to get the movie started?” Dan asked, and Phil nodded swiftly.

“Right after I do this,” he agreed amicably, and kissed Dan again, hands pressed into the back of his head softly.

“I love you,” Dan said softly, once he’d pulled away.

“I love you, too,” Phil assured Dan with a roll of his eyes, but they both understood that constant need for reassurance. For reaffirmation. And neither really minded.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So, it looks like today is the last day for Notifications. Raise your hand if you're sad, because we are! I want to take another moment to thank everyone whose supported us through the entirety of this fic, and who have left comments letting us know that they enjoyed it. That means a lot to us, considering how hard we worked on this. I'm really glad this got as good a reception as it did, and I really hope you guys enjoy the Epilogue!
> 
> Special thanks as always to beta's mostlikelyprocrastinating and katthequeen520, and thank you sooooo much to my co-author notanannoyingfangirl who worked so hard on this with me. I'm sure you guys will be hearing from us soon.
> 
> Friendly reminder that the nominations for the phanfic awards 2015 are currently still running [here](http://phanficawards.tumblr.com/post/113541913610/welcome-to-the-phanfic-awards-2015-this-is-going), and if you guys enjoyed this, maybe you could give the nominations button a little tickle for us. Again, thank you for all your support, and please enjoy the epilogue.

**Married in Secret?**

**Written by Jack Howard**

It appears the rumors are true! As of today, multiple sources have confirmed that Daniel Howell and Phillip Lester have tied the knot in a secret ceremony last weekend. The event took place over the course of two days and included guests such as Alfie and Zoe Deyes, Joe Sugg, Louise Pentland, PJ Liguori, Troye Sivan, Bethany Mota, and Emma Blackery.

While the star-studded ceremony was a quiet affair, taking place in Phil's hometown of Manchester, attendants say it was quite the celebration.

Earlier today, I had a chance to speak with Zoe Deyes, currently three months pregnant with husband Alfie Deyes' child, about the rumors to which she replied, "Dan is one of my best friends, and Phil, though we got off on the wrong foot, is absolutely lovely. I'm extremely happy for both of them."

Louise Pentland, as well, has spoken out, claiming that she "loves the couple like family."

However, it appears not everyone is happy with the union. When asked for his opinion, Finn Harries refused to comment.

While we have yet to hear from Dan and Phil themselves, or their respective managements, the couple has recently been spotted around Jamaica together, and multiple sources implied that it was their honeymoon.

Even if the rumors aren't true, it's good to see that the happy couple is still going strong. Their film, "Only if We Don't Say Goodbye", is set to come out this summer, and it's rumored that Phil is in a new film featuring Zoe Deyes. Dan, for his part, is starting a radio show with the BBC on Sunday nights. It appears that both boys have quite a busy year planned. Keep your eyes peeled, everybody.

 


End file.
